I (18M) refused to design a free advertisement for the daycare where my sister (24F) is going to put my niece. And why is this important? Because the owner of the daycare is one of my sister’s friends, and she’ll receive my niece around 4 or 5 in the morning since my sister has to go to work.
I studied design while I was in high school, and now I’m in college studying programming with a paid internship, but I still make designs, ads, etc… But I charge for it.
I charged my sister 10 bucks for the design, but she says that I got to do it for free because as I explained before, the owner of the daycare is my sister’s friend.
And mind you, for the paid internship I receive a minimum wage (which is around 380USD here), but is enough for buying my stuff, video games, etc. Since I still live with my parents. But she earns around 1500 – 2000 USD (which is not bad in a third world country)
This morning, my mom sat me at the table alone and guilt-tripped me saying that I shouldn’t have said that to her and that she’s going to complain to my father, and I said an example to her, that an engineer must draw up the plans of a house for free because is a relative is not fair. And she said that with that logic, she should be charging us for cleaning the house.
This situation has happened before, the last time I designed the invitation cards for the sex revelation of my niece for free. I pushed a little for her to pay me, but she brushed me off, saying that it was just a little favor. It took around a week to design the invitation cards and the small gifts for the guests, since I made some corrections based on her opinion.
So AITA? What should I do?
NTA. You are already undercharging her for the design as a favor (or tell her it’s a family discount). It’s not even for her but for one of her friends, so she’s going to take your work and hand it over for her own benefit. If you give in because of the family pressure, demand acknowledgment (advertisement) for your design being used. In fact, put it on paper and make a contract for the usage.
Culture makes this difficult bc it sounds like you live somewhere where family is everything and rather non-negotiable. But NTA. Try speaking to her again and consider telling her 1. you want to be valued and appreciated for the work you are doing 2. You see this as work for her friend, not her – even if it was her you would deserve compensation but especially for a friend’s business 3. You want to set the precedent that you will be paid by friends and family when you are doing this as a full time job and no longer a student.
But your mother doesn’t clean other people’s houses for free. Would your mother go clean sister’s friend’s house for free? Maybe once as a favor to your sister. I could see designing your nieces gender reveal as a favor. However favors are supposed to be optional and appreciated. Saying no should be an option. And as soon as your sister started requesting changes, I would have told her you were doing her a favor designing the invites and if she wants to design them she can take over. NTA
NTA
Daycare owner wants you to design an \*advertisement\* because she runs a \*business\* to make \*money\*. A business person should understand that no one should be expected to work for free.
Sister’s daycare needs have nothing to do with you. Mom needs to butt out of this.
This is a good time for you to learn that being assertive and being aggressive are not the same. If you don’t advocate for yourself, then no one else will. BTW, “being guilted” into doing something is just another way of saying that you didn’t advocate for yourself when you should have.
“Mom, I’m not going to discuss this with you.”
“Sis, I’m not doing this work, period. You never paid me for the work that I already did for you. I don’t work for free, nor do I trust friend to pay me even if she agrees to it. Find someone else.”
NTA Have you heard the saying “no is a complete sentence”? All you have to say is to their requests is no. No explanation, no excuses, just No. Them: “But why”? You: “I said no”
NTA does your sister work for free?
I do things for family and friends for free all the time, and they do the same back.
That being said if it crossed into work related stuff, and what I was doing mattered. I would expect to be paid.
The only way I think you wouldn’t be NTA is if they were helping you out all the time and as soon as they needed help, you want money for it.
Or
(And others might disagree) You were charging full price and just coping an old design. Sure, you could charge still, but dropping the price or maybe doing it for free, to maintain the relationship (while being clear this is a one off), would be an option.
NTA.
In situations like this, where people always say it’s a small ask or simple task, and you should do it for free. I always say that if it’s so simple, why can’t you do it yourself?
You spent time developing your expertise in this skill, dont hand it out for free.
NTA – sorry even for family and even more friends of your family, pay up….