28M, I kinda know I’m the TA already but here’s the context,
Yesterday I gave a “make out” reply to my bestie f27. 2nd NSFW talk in entire 2years of friendship. Yesterday she just reacted rofl and was totally cool with it. Not a yes Not a no. Today I directly asked her if she wanted to H\*\*kup. She said NO. I’m now feeling guilty for asking her, I’m so ashamed now. I don’t even know how to talk to her now.
AITA?? Did I ruin it all??
If you knew you were the asshole already, then why are you here? Yes, YTA. The “ROFL” was a no because it wasn’t a yes. Don’t be pushy.
Exactly this. 👆
Well it’ll make your friendship be a little weird for a while…
What was said before you said “make out” yesterday?
Sure, it’s not ideal, but really- how you handle the ‘no’ will make or break this. If you just accept the no, don’t act any different and never bring it up again, then it should be fine. But if you get weird or resentful or continue to drop hints about wanting to hook up, then you turn a small blip into asshole territory.
NTA, but only time will tell. But for me, typically if it is not a yes, then it is a no.
So many girls use silence as a no, you not getting a verbal answer is an answer. The reason most girls say no that way is so that they dont need to say no and get a reaction from the guy and him calling them slurs. No matter how long they’ve been friends.
Respect her boundaries, and dont force the subject, leave it for now until she talks about it again.
You should make it clear that you respect the “no” and apologize for asking an uncomfortable question.
Just accept the no and move on.
YTA. Way to ruin a friendship.
YTA. “Not a yes” is a no in situations like this. Also are you really her friend if you view her as a sexual opportunity? I’ve been in this situation and I thought he was my long term friend until I realized he was just waiting for me to be drunk or vulnerable enough to agree to hookup with him. That isn’t friendship.
Absolutely NTA in my book . Adults communicate – you asked, she replied, as long as you respect the answer, it’s just a part of healthy life, no need to make drama out of it.
However, I’m perplexed at your approach; I cannot imagine suggesting it the way you did, over the phone; did you also suggest exact time and location and scenario, lol? Like a mundane thing, let’s go to the market tomorrow morning, I need some eggs, and maybe also new shoes along the way…
You invite her for a dinner, for a romantic movie, for a walk under the stars, whatever, you talk to her and you get a grasp whether she’s willing for a step further or not; if it looks promising, you ask her while looking her in the eyes, you don’t send her such a text, ffs…
Why are you behave like that at your big age ? YTA smh grow up.
Yep, because it sounds like you didn’t want to be her friend anymore.
You asked her, her answer was no, you pushed again and she said no….
So yes, the friendship is probably ruin and as you’ve already mentioned YTA!