I’m posting here because I’ve been feeling really guilty about this situation.
A couple of days ago, I got suddenly sick. At first I thought I just needed to rest, but then I started throwing up repeatedly. I kept getting hot flashes, feeling like I was going to pass out, before vomiting again and getting really cold after. This went on every 10-15 minutes for about three hours, and I couldn’t keep water or medication down.
This exact thing happened to me a few months ago, and after five hours of nonstop vomiting I ended up in the ER. Since it felt the same this time and wasn’t stopping, I called my brother to ask if he could bring me to the ER again. We live very close to each other, and I live alone, so he was the only nearby person I could realistically ask. At the hospital, they put in an IV and ran tests. Last time the results took a few hours, so I told my brother he could go home and I’d call him when I was discharged. They ended up keeping me overnight, so I texted him that he didn’t need to pick me up this time.
The next morning, I called my mom to see if she could pick me up since my brother was at work and she was home. She told me she was “busy” and that I shouldn’t have gone to the ER for something like that. She said my dad would pick me up whenever he woke up. My dad wasn’t working that day and tends to sleep in when he doesn’t work, so I had no idea when he’d come, but the hospital needed the room, so I waited in the hall until he arrived.
The following morning, sensing a weird vibe from my mom I called to check in. She immediately told me she had been sick too (she threw up a couple of times and then it stopped) and that it “wasn’t hard to handle unless you’re weak.” She said I was weak for going to the hospital and that I was taking advantage of my brother because he’s too kind to tell me to “tough it out.” I then found out she wasn’t actually busy the day before. She just didn’t want to pick me up. My brother really IS kind, and he’s also overworked. He’s self-employed and often works long hours. I already felt bad asking him for help, even though it was a short drive. He stayed up pretty late waiting to hear from me, so I know he must’ve been exhausted the next day. He hasn’t said anything about the situation and doesn’t seem upset, but I can’t stop feeling guilty about it. So… AITA for asking my brother to take me to the ER and upsetting my mom?
Considering you stayed in, this was not a false panic, but valid er situation. NTA but your mom is one. Brother is not one.
Ofcourse you are NTA. Your mother is the asshole here. Your brother did was what a good brother is supposed to do, i believe you would do the same for her.
NTA, though your mother sure is. I bet she’s the kind of person who had to walk uphill both ways going to school “and your generation has it easy”.
It was reasonable going to ER in your situation. Thank your brother, maybe buy him a chocolate or promise to help him in the future and that should be it
You got attention mommy thinks she deserves instead? Your mother is totally wack. Vomiting that much upsets your body’s electrolytes and can be dangerous. You did the right thing. Apparently the doctors agreed or they wouldn’t have admitted you overnight. Your mom didn’t go to medical school and like too many people lacks a basic understanding of what constitutes an emergency. This is an RN speaking. You can tell her I told you so.
NTA, the ER kept you overnight because there was genuine worry about your health. Don’t feel guilty about asking your brothet for help, he helped because he cares. Thank him for his help absolutely, but it doesnt sound like hes mad. Personally i would stay up all night for the people i care about, and i know they would do the same for me should i need it. Thats just what you do when you love someone. Your mom is an AH for how shes making you feel about yourself.
Good grief, the hospital KEPT YOU OVERNIGHT. That is not a ‘tough it out’ situation.
Edited to add: NTA!!!!
Exactly, they wouldn’t have kept them overnight if there wasn’t a warranted reason.
NTA! Hospitals don’t admit people overnight just for the hell of it. Obviously, you needed care (probably fluids and medication). Your mother was wrong in every way possible here.
NTA. That’s what family does for each other. We stay up all night if we need to! The hospital wouldn’t have kept you if you had not been really sick. I’m so sorry your family did not come pick you up immediately. That’s terrible. I hope you’re feeling much better. I would go low, or no, contact with your mom for now. Take care of your brother. He sounds like he’s a good one and loves you very much.
If you really are feeling guilty for asking your brother for help when you needed it, send a nice thank you note or text to him. Tell him how much he means to you and how much you love him. He really is a good friend and he has proven that by helping you, and you really appreciate that. Offer to help him if he ever needs it. Stay close with him.
Talk to brother more and to mother less. Best wishes.
NTA and your female parent is a horrible excuse for a mother! If the hospital kept you overnight then obviously what you were going through WAS serious. She sounds like a monster. Stay away from her. She’s trying to break you and it’s pitiful. I could never treat my child that way.
NTA. They don’t keep you overnight for being “weak.” Your mother is clearly TA. I don’t know what her problem is, but she is gaslighting you. She sounds like the kind of woman who would then play the “poor grieving mother” if something bad resulted from you not going. Do not allow her to make you feel bad! Don’t feel guilty! You know your body better than anyone else. You knew this wasn’t going to just go away. If your brother had a problem with it, he could have told you. I don’t know what kind of relationship you otherwise have with your mother. But, I would consider not asking her for anything going forward and going LC or NC with her. Nobody needs “love” like that.
NTA. Sounds like your brother is a solid guy, don’t worry so much about bothering him, he clearly is there for you.
Now on to your mother, WTF is wrong with her? No wonder you think people aren’t supposed to help when someone is in need. If she wants to tough it out, that’s on her. Any sane person with your symptoms would have gone to the ER!!
NTA. They kept you overnight for a reason. Hospitals don’t admit unless there’s cause. Your mother is wrong. Also, your brother is an adult with the capacity to say “no” if he needs to.