I (21F) have a friend (20F) who constantly texts me late at night, sometimes past midnight. She wants to vent or ask for advice, which I don’t mind occasionally, but it’s become every night. I’ve told her I need my sleep and can’t respond then, but she keeps doing it.
Last night, I didn’t reply and she got upset, saying I’m “ignoring” her. I feel like setting boundaries about when I can be available is reasonable.
So, AITA for refusing to respond to late-night texts after repeatedly asking her to respect my sleep?
NTA. You’re asleep & can’t respond. Your friend needs to get a grip on reality.
Turn on your Do Not Disturb and make sure she can see it in your message settings. Tell her hey, I’m happy to chat but when I go to bed I turn on do not disturb so I can sleep, and I’m not going to see your messages until I wake up.
That way, it’s nothing personal.
I have a Do Not Disturb set on my phone because one friend will not stop texting before 7 a.m. or late at night if she’s in the mood to do so. Telling her to stop doesn’t work, so people also have to just plain block her number at times. It’s easier to fix the tech than ask the person to modify their behavior when they don’t wanna.
NTA. Establish a habit of putting your phone on DND while you sleep. Be open with everyone about the habit. Let them know that it’s simply “How you roll.”
NTA – but simply mute her or put your night time notifications silence on… youre sleeping not ignoring her
NTA
You set the boundary – you cannot be on call 24/7.
Her expectation that you should be is completely unreasonable.
Thank you for saying that. The way you phrased it made me realize how it feels like I’m working a night job…
Set your phone to have an auto Do Not Disturb 30 minutes before you want to get into bed.
NTA.
Put your phone on DND mode at night. I do that and only allow certain calls to get through, like family members.
Your friend is beyond rude to think someone is ignoring them while they are trying to sleep.
NTA. And yes you are–justifiably–ignoring her.
Set those boundaries. “I won’t answer you between this and this time”. Then mute her specifically.
>Set those boundaries. “I won’t answer you between this and this time”. Then mute her specifically.
THIS PART.
“I don’t answer my phone past X-pm and can respond as I am available after X-am. These are basic quiet hours, and based on my sleep schedule, I will not be answering the phone for texts or calls.”
If she can’t respect this, she isn’t a friend. NTA.
NTA. Yes, you are “‘*ignoring’ her*” as would any rational person who needs/wants to sleep between the hours of midnight and 6:00 AM (or whenever). She. on the other hand, is being presumptuous and inconsiderate.
Cell phones have two features that could be helpful here: (1) airplane mode and (2) sleep mode. You should feel free to use either of them.
NTA – “you’re right, i was ignoring you bc I was sleeping. Try texting me at a normal time if you want to talk to me”
NTA Do not Disturb exists for a very good reason. Put it on.
I don’t answer texts after ten o’clock. It feels rude. Join me.