My son married Kelly 7 years ago and I thought we had a good relationship until now. I babysit for them often, every Tuesday and Thursday . I love seeing the kids but it is a lot of work and I have had to make sacrifices that I wouldn’t have to do if I just babysat like once a month.
I started doing this becuase they were struggling fancially and it is much cheaper to do part time daycare than full time daycare. When school started ( and they were old enough) I still took them so they could work long we hours on those days
The oldest kid ( Theo) has Kelly’s couple friends as godparents. The middle child godparents are my daughter and her husband.
When Kelly was pregnant with the youngest, I brought up to my son that I would loved to be the godmother. He said he would talk it over with his wife.
The youngest was born and I learned over the holidays that Kelly’s parents are going to be the godparents. Her parent visit once a year and I have literally had both of them rent to me about how awful they were.
I asked my son when I was picked to be a godparent and he told me it was becuase I am not married. Kelly wants the godparent to be a couple and it shows good moral for the kids.
I was a single mother… I raised my kids by myself and to hear that I wasn’t picked because of that hurts a lot. That I babysit the kids for years over a 100 days a year and I am not godparent material was awful.
I thought it over and decided that I was done babysitting. I will only do emergencies and that it. I informed my son and he was not happy.
Kelly is very pissed and claims I am punishing them. My son called me and asked me to reconsider because it will put them back financially to got to full time at the daycare.
The fact that you asked beforehand and they chose her parents is kind of a huge slap in the face. The reasoning is even more disrespectful.
Why is a single mother not good enough to be a godparent but good enough to watch their kids?
NTA.
agreed. i thought the issue was that OP wasn’t picked because she’s older than siblings or friends. but to have the other set of parents be the godparents is just rude, especially considering how little they are involved with the kids.
I was thinking the same so seeing the Kelly’s parents were chosen was an unexpected curveball for me.
Yeah I was initially not on her side because I was thinking who on earth picks grandparents to be godparents when they already have a treasured role. But then they picked distant grandparents who aren’t even present and active on a regular basis and then gave such an insulting, prejudicial, slap in the face rationale that I’m so hurt for OP. So her single mother self and home is good enough for free childcare but not if they get hit by a bus? Yeah to hell with them.
Willing to bet the absentee grandparents are loaded and Kelly wants that sweet inheritance $$$
Of course they’re being punished. It’s called consequences. They bit the hand that feeds them, what do they expect?
NTA because their explanation was super gross given that you raised your son alone and are now helping raise his kids – your morals are good enough to show up but not good enough to be part of their family I guess.
This right here! Thank you for saying this. NTA OP, and son should be ashamed of himself for letting his wife to decide that only couple should be godparents. He was literally raised by OP and he’s okay with his wife saying couple as godparents are better for the kids moral? What as if OP has less moral for raising her kids as single parent? Why isn’t the son standing up for his parent and questioning his own wife if she thinks he has less moral for being raised by a single parent?
I’m sorry you went through this OP. NTA at all. You deserve to be treated better by your son and daughter in law
I was raised by a single parent and this made me sad that just because you’re single Kelly didn’t think you’re good enough to be godparent when you literally babysit for them all the time
I’m offended for OP. Like the audacity.
NTA because your DIL specifically said you couldn’t be a godparent because it’s better morally for it to be a couple.
That’s the sentence that would send me over the edge too. Why would you continue to provide a ton of free childcare to someone who doesn’t see you as a good role model for her kids?
NTA, but let’s clarify why you want to stop giving so much of your life to caring for these grandkids.
It’s not that other godparents were selected, but the reason given to you was deeply hurtful.
I’m Southern and I would have a hard time not telling Kelly to find “morally upstanding” babysitters in the immediate future because I resign. In fact, I think I would do that.
Clearly they should get a married couple to babysit.
Y’know… to show good morals.
NTA. You have every right to be offended.
Agree. They used her but Kelly doesn’t appreciate her.
The “explanation” is insulting and infuriating, but as an aside, is it a normal practice for Grandparents to be Godparents? I though these roles were usually separated with a couple (or person) close to the parents age selected to be Godparents.
No, it’s not at all normal. Whole story is weird. Why would a grandparent want to be godparent to just one of their grandkids?