AITAH for asking my grandparents to pay me back?
Okay so for context, my grandpa won a lawsuit with his old job because of an accident that happened and because they didn’t pay him workers’ comp, but he didn’t actually get the money until today.
About 5 to 10 months ago, my grandma quit her job because her boss was an a-hole. Shortly after that, they went broke and had to ask me for money. I’m 15 and they’re my family, they raised me, so I gladly gave it to them. It was a pretty large amount, around $2,000.
A couple months later, they paid me back $5,000. I’m really grateful they gave me extra, and I saved the money for a few months. Then my grandpa asked me for more money so they could pay their taxes. I didn’t really want to give it to him because I wanted to save, but he got angry that I didn’t want to, so I gave in. I gave him $1,200 just for taxes and even more for groceries. They kept saying they would pay me back when they got the money.
Fast forward a couple months, I had saved back up to a little more than $5,000. Then my grandpa’s car got repossessed. About a week after that, he started showing me cars and trying to convince me to buy one. I asked him if, since he wanted the car, he would pay me back if I bought it. He said yes.
So I bought the car and I barely even get to drive it. He’s always driving it and putting extra miles on it, plus wear and tear and everything else.
Now as of today, he has the lawsuit money pending in the bank and is planning to get a house, which is what they said they were going to do with the money. I asked my grandpa when he would pay me back and he got really angry with me calling me a scum bag. He told me that I said I didn’t want him to pay me back because we’re getting a house, which I know for a fact I didn’t say because I don’t play about my money.
It’s also not like they only got enough money for a house. My grandpa said he’s going to buy a truck with the rest of the money. I asked why he wouldn’t just give me my money back first and then get the truck, and he started yelling, saying it’s because he never gets anything for himself.
I texted my grandma about it and she said I have an attitude, that I’m being a jerk and ungrateful, told me not to ask them for another dime, and said I wouldn’t have a car if it weren’t for them. Now I’m down about $8000 and paying $270 a month in car insurance for a 2010 ford fusion sport which I receive no help for.
So I really just need to know, am I the a-hole? I’m
So this is a confusing read.
INFO: how old are you now?
Am I getting the sequence correct?
Your lent him $2000.
He paid you back $5000.
You lent him $1200. + Groceries (approximately how much?)
You bought a car he asked you to. (How much?)
Cause the calculations don’t add up.
NTA – Grown adults shouldn’t rely on their 15yo family members to pay their bills and buy cars for them. Rule of thumb for the rest of your life, don’t let people borrow what you aren’t willing to lose. ESPECIALLY FAMILY. There is always a chance you’ll never get the money back from whoever borrows it. Id sell the car if you don’t personally need it, put the money back in savings and never lend them money again, no matter the guilt trip. They don’t need to know anything about your financial situation so don’t answer any questions, don’t say you have x money in the bank. If they continue to harass you about it, tell your parents and ignore it.
INFO: can you edit your post to summarize the amount of money you paid them and the money they paid you?
Also. How are you 15, making/having money and driving a car?
At 15 in Vermont you can get a learners permit which allows you to drive with an adult over the age of 25 that has a valid drivers license I have worked at dunkin since I was about 14 and a half and here’s the math -2000 + 5000 -1200 – 800
You’re 15. You seem to be talking about the U.S. legal system, so presumably U.S. based. What are you doing with that kind of money and why do you need a car it’s not actually legal for you to drive? Write better fiction.
If by some stretch of the imagination this is real, you’re being financially exploited, manipulated, and emotionally abused. Please find a trusted adult — a teacher, your guidance counselor, even your doctor — and talk with them about what’s going on in your life. And in this case, NTA. As parentified as you may be, you’re an abused child, and you deserve better. If you can genuinely afford to support yourself and have been doing so for a while — although how you’re managing this is quite the question — emancipation might be a better alternative for you if viable at 15, particularly if there are other relatives with whom you could live safely.
NTA-but dont mention money again to them….. when they inevitably ask you for money, decline. Sorry money is in an education fund for college , I cant touch it until im 18… I have my insurance set up to come out automatically and I only get enough direct deposited for gas….. you are 15? You are the CHILD, they have no business asking you for money, and if you are kind enough to help them then they should pay you back. I will tell you from experience though, when families are poor and struggle, money becomes contentious. My rule as an adult now is I never lend money I expect to get back. The reality is that we should pay our debts, especially when we borrow from a friend or family member, life happens and sometimes it becomes difficult . I would just keep my head down if I were you and once you are good enough and you can afford it, move out.
INFO – It’s disgusting for grandparents to rely on their 15 year old grandchild to support them. They’ve had decades to save up for retirement, and they even won a lawsuit to get workers’ comp. Take this lesson to heart. Consider whatever money you lend to family to be a gift. If you can’t afford to give them money, then don’t lend it.
Something about this story’s not adding up, though. How are you able to purchase a car for yourself at 15? What country do you live in? Why are you paying for insurance when you’re not even old enough to have a license yet?
15 yr old driving and insured? nope, wouldn’t happen
Possibly the AH if this is fiction. If you are in the US there is almost no possibility that you earned and saved 5000.00 from anywhere as aside from some amusement parks you cannot legally work anywhere, and we must assume you are in school.
If this is even remotely true, then you need to find an adult that will file a small claims court on your behalf in small claims court for theft and financial fraud from your grandparents, and if the grandparents are your guardians, possibly CPS for abuse.
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fake, no details add up or make sense
If you’re 15, they are still raising you which gives you about zero say in any of it. So what can you do? Put your money where they can’t get it, then you don’t have it. You have become their default safety net. Absolutely unacceptable, but you only have to look toward every child actor to see its common. And, its really common in low income households.
I have seen this pattern continue as people have grown up and had their own kids, who they struggle to clothe and feed—still the same people who raised them looking for help. It only stops if you can find a way around it. A trusted adult outside the home can easily open an account in your name for you to deposit your money.
Your family can just believe you spend it all, buy something once in a while so they believe it.