aita for telling my long distance friend, who flew all the way across the world to see me, that I dislike cuddles even though we cuddled twice? Cuddling is her love language but not mine, I really wish it was different but that’s how I feel unfortunately. I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore because I started dreading the nights when she would sleep with me in my room. I feel if that were to go on many misunderstandings would’ve surfaced and I genuinely care about this friendship. After I told her "I dislike cuddles" I tried to explain why and what I do prefer however she did not want to stay and listen. She just said "It’s fine" and went to her room.
Why did she fly to see you?
I’d only do that if that person was a close friend and I hadn’t seen them in a while or if I was romantically/physically interested in them.
Yeah we are close friends. We’ve known each other for 4years and have been close friends for 3.
Does she by chance want intimate relations with you or have feelings for you?
I doubt that she is straight
….. is she? This reaction, coupled with the fact you were in your bedroom, makes me think otherwise
Haha yeah I don’t know
Not the asshole – I don’t think you should be expected to physically interact in a way that you are not comfortable with.
Maybe you can find a middle ground to speak her “love language” in a way that you are comfortable with.
Don’t beat yourself up over it! She chose to come over, you don’t need to feel indebted to her for that. Just as she expresses her love physically, you can do the same in a way that’s comfortable for you. Everyone has diff love languages. For example, if you show love through gift-giving, that’s in no way showing any less love than physical affection x
Thanks I appreciate 🙃 I just feel really bad about saying that cause I know people see it as “you don’t love them anymore” which is not what I tried to do at all.
U both r closet les or bi ? Does she gave u a signal to go further or any misunderstood btw u both ?
NTA. Unless she was invited into your room and your bed, she is treading over your boundaries. We each give and receive tacit permission to touch each other and if you don’t enjoy cuddling, she must have picked it up but tried anyway.
I’m intrigued that you haven’t explained what these “misunderstandings” are that might surface. Care to explain?
So she comes to my room usually she asks me if she can sleep in my room which I agree to cause I struggle to say no. I originally thought she just wants to sleep in my room not cuddle. By the misunderstandings I mean when I said “I dislike cuddles” and certain physical touch. I don’t want her to misunderstand that I hate her or don’t want to be friends anymore. I know there are people who think that and automatically think the friendship will end.
Don’t b pretended what u want to hear honestly ? The story is true . That thing I knew someone treats me this way happens before yes b yes n no b no . Many of them everywhere .