Since I mention multiple coworkers I’m gonna label them A, B, and C.
A little background about me is I like making little cakes for people on their birthdays (you know those little cakes that come in a paper hinged take-out container) just to show them I care and appreciate them. So none of this is about if I like one over the other.
So my boss/coworker’s (A) birthday was 2 weeks ago and I told A I would make him a cake. I took so long cause I live paycheck to paycheck and didn’t have the ingredients to make the icing and other stuff. Since I get off at 5, I stayed up a bit late to finish the cake cause it was already so far from his birthday and 3 days ago I finished the cake and brought it into work. He said thanks and he appreciated it and gave me a high five.
Details about the cake: It’s a vanilla cake with strawberry filling and it’s 8 inch rounds/2 layers.
The cake is still at work and uncut into. A said the since the cake was big he couldn’t eat all of it himself and his gf and him would eat some and not finish it, but the whole reason I made the cake that big is cause when I asked him 3 weeks ago (before his birthday) he said he wanted a big cake to share with everyone **(another coworker’s (B) birthday was the week before his (the week i asked A) and I made B the same cake but a small personal one that was 4in rounds/2 layers)**. I feel a little under appreciated and we have kitchen staff that keeps taking the cake out of the fridge cause it’s taking up room and the box is being left open and we have gnats so I have to keep covering the cake myself to make sure no bugs get in it. Now here’s the dilemma. Another coworker’s (C) birthday is next week and since today is a Friday, if A doesn’t take the cake home it’ll just stay here over the weekend and we usually get busy so there wouldn’t be time to cut into it and Fridays we usually aren’t busy at all. So my thought process was if he doesn’t take the cake home I will use just share it with C and other workers who want a slice. I don’t want to have to keep reminding him about it since I have been for the past 3 days which is part of me feeling under appreciated. WIBTA if I just wait and see if A takes it home without telling him and if he doesn’t, repurpose it to C?
NTA, but I wouldn’t present it as a gift to C–just cut into the cake on Friday (or whenever’s soonest) and everybody can have some ASAP because cake
Yta
At this point that cake has worked a full shift, survived gnat warfare, and been evicted from the fridge multiple times. It’s no longer a birthday cake—it’s a communal office artifact waiting to be adopted. If A doesn’t take it home soon, the cake is legally allowed to choose a new birthday. 🎂😅
You gave the cake as a gift – it no longer belongs to you, so you can’t “regift” it.
If the cake has attracted pests like gnats, it needs to go into the trash.
YWBTA.
Sorry YTA. Baked goods don’t last that long especially if they have temperature changes. If you have to wait and save up then you can’t afford to be baking for people. Gotta prioritize your own goals and comfort over optional things like this. Only do it for people who will actually appreciate it and you. He says he wants a big one and you say “no I only make small ones.” He was trying to get out of catering his birthday by farming out the cost to you.
And I know relationships with bosses are tricky, but why wouldn’t you just say hey the cake still in the fridge… Shall we share it with everybody today?
Gentle YTA, to yourself as much as anyone. You are living paycheck to paycheck and spending time and money on these. It’s nice that you make cakes but if no one is asking you to do it, you can’t really complain about it not being appreciated. Maybe they don’t like the flavor and just don’t want to tell you. Maybe they are diabetic and don’t want to share that, maybe they just didn’t want cake but felt bad saying no (and maybe instead suggested you make one for the office to share). Maybe you are just not as good at baking as you think and they taste bad? Regardless, it sounds like the cake you want to regift has not been properly stored and will be quite old, it can’t possibly be good still by the time you plan on regifting it.
You are doing way too much. If people ask for a cake ahead of time and give you a flavor and size, sure. But just assuming everyone wants one of your cakes doesn’t make them ungrateful if they decline to eat it. But if you like making cakes, just keep making them and bringing them to share, it doesn’t have to be for people’s birthdays. That said, if your refrigerator space is being overwhelmed by your cakes to the point where people can’t store their lunches, that’s a problem that no one will thank you for causing.
Go in there, get the cake and cut it today. How long does strawberry filling last?
Just open it cut it into pieces and leave it on the table for people to take.
While it is a sweet gesture, I would stop making cakes if I were living paycheck to paycheck
Do not use the cake for someone else’s birthday. In fact, completely forget about it, as if it never existed. He never wanted the cake to begin with, or it would’ve been gone on the first day. Don’t ever bake him another.
While it’s thoughtful to bake cakes for coworkers, you really can’t afford to right now. Just quietly stop doing it until your finances improve.
NTA.
You cant “regift” a 2-3 week old cake. Especially one that’s been in and out of the fridge that many times. Either A takes it or you throw it away. YTA if you try to re gift something that’s been sitting in the office fridge that long.
YTA. It’s A’s birthday and you put the celebrating part on him. He doesn’t want to be the one to announce his birthday, especially when that was 3 days ago.
People have likely seen the uncut cake in the fridge and don’t want to be the one to cut it. And if they haven’t been told they can eat it, don’t want to steal food that isn’t for them.
In my office, it works like this: You need to send out an email to everyone in the office to let them know you brought in a cake for A’s birthday and will be cutting it at 2pm, so either stop by or help yourself whenever is convenient, and wish A a happy birthday when you see him. Try something like that.
Eww that cake has been in and out of the fridge, exposed to gnats and who knows what and you want to give it to someone else after what a week or more? That cake needs tossed. Stop making cakes if you can’t afford it. Once you give them away they aren’t yours anymore. I’d be pizzed if you gave me a nasty regifted cake.
YTA.
You need to let this go. If he doesn’t eat it, he doesn’t eat it. Move on. And don’t regift… Firstly it’s not yours to give anyone anymore, and secondly it’s probably hard as a brick by now.