I reside in a group of groups who are mostly white. I am the only black one in the group. A friend we’ll call "A" asked her mother to drop me off at home.
In my eyes the drive was fine, me and A’s mom talked about me potentially attending her church.
I was told the next day by "A" that upon dropping me off, her mother called me "whitewashed" for the house I live in.
I stated her mother was racist for saying such a thing and that I wouldn’t ever be going to her house as long as her mother held such a stance on me as a person. I’m being treated like a villain for not wanting to be around A’s mother since she’s shown not only to me- but the other friends in the group as well, that she can’t control her mouth. AITA for what I said?
NTA for not wanting to be in a position where you are uncomfortable.
NTA: If A didn’t want you to know her mom was racist maybe A shouldn’t haven passed on that info. It sounds like they both think that True Blacks come from the ghetto. It’s a weird thing to say.
This mom sounds like she thinks “one of the good ones” is a compliment. You’re NTA, but I’m sorry you might lose a friend.
But mother can’t be racists she has a friend of a friend who is black, I mean a friend of their kid who is black. …../s
Op-NTA. You have every right to not associate with racist people , people who disrespect you, people who talk trash about you, and people who are just plain unpleasant to be around. If others have a problem with that, then it’s time to find a new group.
NTA. As a fellow non-white person, I wanna tell you to preach, and let the people around you know when they’re making you feel uncomfortable.
As a non-white person also living in a mostly white country, I’d advise you to first make sure that you’re in an environment where people will understand your complaints about racial discrimination, and not just gaslight you into thinking that “it’s not a big deal”. Your priority is your safety (both emotional and physical), and that means speaking out in a calculated way.
Unfortunately, this places a much greater burden on you, to take into consideration the feelings of others, because they can’t take yours into consideration. But as a brown dude who has caught nasty stares when hanging around white girls, and had people clutch their purses when I walk by, I can tell you that pragmatism comes first, always. Keep yourself to a higher standard, because if you slip up, not only will people judge you for it, they might judge the next black person they meet for it.
calling you whitewashed bc of your house is wild, i didn’t even know house stereotypes existed. what a weirdo. NTA
Of course NTA — I’ve never heard of this stereotype now I know what it means. So yes you were right to call it out.
omg the “whitewashed” comment was totally uncalled for. you have every right to distance yourself from people who make those kinds of judgments about you based on where you live.
A is the ah for sharing a convo btwn her and her mother with you. She was trying to get a rise out of you and succeeded. NTA
What is wrong with A’s mom??!! You can just distance yourself from her. Definitely NTA
Definitely NTA, as a person of color who grew up in a small town and was always called “whitewashed” because of how I was raised, you’re not wrong at all for feeling the way you feel, don’t let them make you feel bad because deep down they all probably feel that way about you since you don’t fit into the generic stereotype of what they expect
NTA, but “A” sounds pretty racist too. I’m sorry.
NTA. It was bold of you to do that, but you are right: calling someone “Whitewashed” is something only a racist would do.