Throwaway for obvious reasons
I 20F have worked since i was about 13 years old, either parttime or fulltime. Recently i had a rather uncomfortable experience at my previous job. I was sexually harassed and bullied by my boss. Currently i am on paid sick leave for stress and depression while i wait for a court date.
The situation happened at a family birthday where i was sitting next to my brother 25M, he was talking about his studies. He then proudly said that i should just try studying like him, i simply asked if he thought he’d prefer to be in my situation, he immediately said ‘that’s a deal! i can easily just sit at home while you take my exams’
I just got so upset and flabbergasted that i couldn’t really respond, my reaction first came when he left. I spoke to my family afterwards and i just vented, i called him some things I’m not proud of, yet i stand by it, but i couldn’t gauge my family’s reaction.
I wish I could say it’s the first time he’s said or done something like this… he has always commented on everything i do. I can’t understand how he can comment on my life when he hasn’t worked a day in his life.
I’m worried that my family won’t agree that he was out of line, or if I’m overreacting and if i was an asshole, talking about my brother like that behind his back. currently i am ignoring him, because i might actually blow up.
So am i the asshole? or at least an asshole?
NTA. I’ve called my own brother worse things for much smaller reasons.
NTA. His insensitive comment was selfish and showed a profound lack of empathy for your traumatic situation.
I get your discomfort, not knowing you can trust your family’s reactions to your complaints about your brother, who seems not to care about what you are going through. I hope you have a friend group and/or a counsellor with whom you can discuss your ongoing difficulties.
I don’t know if “selfish and egotistical” accurately label the behaviour in question. You might have let him off easy.
NTA