For context I live with my 73 year old father and my girlfriend. My dad could probably live on his own, but he has had some serious issues in the past where living with him has been a blessing.
Anyways, me and my gf got a new dog (I’ll call her Luna) in November. We were all on board with this decision as our last dog had passed at the very beginning of last year. We were blindsided by the rescue when our Luna arrived covered in bites, two of which were pretty seriously infected. She has since healed well and is slowly turning into a wonderful new family member full of love and cuddles. She is, however, still working through some anxiety and trauma issues.
I always thought that my dad was good with dogs but he has really dropped the ball here. Gf and I have been very patient with her and she basically sleeps on top of us at this point, but my dad decided they just "won’t get along". She was initially very timid with us all but as soon as she recoiled away from my father he just decided "she doesn’t like me" and has put very little effort into mending their relationship. We also found out weeks after the fact (My father barely communicates with us about some topics) that Luna had bit him when he was trying to put her leash on and take her out while we were away. We were blown away since Luna has been nothing but sweet and timid to everyone who has met her.
Anyways, fast forward to the event in question. A few days ago I was cutting brush up the hill on our property and decided to randomly check the doggy cam since I had left Luna hooked on a leash in our mudroom while I was away. Pretty much what I saw was that my father sat behind her on our bench, she growled at him a few times, and then he got up, walked in front of her, and did two fake kicks towards her face. This enraged me and I immediately hopped in my truck and drove back down. I pretty much walked right into his room and started laying into him about it (I was in the Marines and I was a Corrections Officer for a time, so believe me when I say I can YELL.)
We all talked about it later with me still being pretty angry. He says he was "trying to dissuade her from growling" which I think is BS. He could also be heard on the cam saying, "You lose pup. You might do some damage, but you lose" and "God it’s so horrible having you here"…
I’m pretty sure I’m justified in freaking out on him, but part of me looks back and just sees myself yelling at an innocent old man. AITA?
Tldr my dad pretended to kick my dog in the face and I chewed him out bad.
Totally NOT ok for your Dad to traumatize her. I guess your choice is to move, or to rehome her because he definitely is not going to stop that behavior and it’s his home. A terrible situation indeed. Poor pup, and poor you OP!
For context it is my home, but I don’t have the heart to even imagine kicking him out. I appreciate your reply and your sympathy! I will defend her lol
Awww I missed that somehow. Ugh that makes it super difficult. I’m happy that you are protecting your sweet baby. ❤️
NTA this is not a person I would feel comfortable being around. Who knows what happens when there is no camera. And he is NOT “an innocent old man” he is someone comfortable with tormenting a living being.
Bad people don’t stop being bad when they’re old.
NTA. The likelihood is she bit him because he was pulling some of the same nonsense.
I’d kick your dad to the curb, no hesitation. He’s an animal abuser and I’d take a cuddly animal over someone who would abuse then 100% of the time.
NTA, is your dad a super villain? This is absolutely disgusting behavior.
I honestly don’t know who’s the asshole here, but you only have two choices here- move or rehome the dog. The choice you make needs to happen NOW. The dog cannot be left alone until you carry out one of these two actions. This is a massive safety concern.
NTA I hope you realize you will need to keep your dog and your father apart. Your father is clearly in the wrong for mistreating the dog. But this is an accident waiting to happen. What if the dog gets tired of being mistreated by your dad and bits and seriously injures your dad. At the very least you should put cameras all around to see what is going on at all times.
Sounds as though he was trying to provoke her into biting him, perhaps with the intent of forcing you to get rid of her.
I never thought of it that way, and it would definitely make sense…
Innocent old man? Nonono. Beeing old does not equal being excused for bad behavior, actually it’s the opposite. As old as he is, he should definetly know better and have developed some more sensitivety for animals. Poor dog got even more trauma from him. He deserved all you gave him and probably more. He had it coming!
NTA
If this behavior of your dad’s is new, and not consistent with how he’s been in the past, maybe there’s something medical going on. Dementia, brain tumor, or something else? When was the last time he had a complete physical?
NTA
While some of us wouldn’t have yelled (as you describe), I can see why some might. As long as that’s all you did, I’d say you’re in the clear. Dad needs to leave the dog TF alone if he wants nothing to do with her. THAT is how you get bit…. Makes me wonder if maybe he did something to provoke her previously. Dogs are, even if we forget, an animal and operate by animal instinct. They don’t know when we do or don’t mean harm to them and they respond instinctively. Fake a kick at a dog and you might find yourself on the receiving end up an ass chomp!!