My bf and I were forced to re-home a precious kitty. I took in an adult cat from a coworker who wasn’t able to care for him about two weeks ago. I discussed it with my boyfriend and after learning the conditions he was living under, we decided to take him immediately. However, when my mom (our landlord) found out, she wanted the cat gone. She didn’t care that we had grown attached to the cat and the cat to us. She just wanted it gone, even if that meant taking him to a shelter. My coworker made me promise that the cat would not end up in another shelter. I pinky swore that I wouldn’t let that happen.
My niece (who works with animals and fellow animal-lovers) found someone willing to take the cat in. My mom decided to talk to my boyfriend about this since ownership of the cat was signed over to him. My boyfriend asked for verification that this person was a real person and my mom wasn’t trying to trick him. My mom found this highly offensive. After asking to speak to my niece privately with me in the room and requesting that my mom wait outside or return to the main house, she barged into our apartment, letting our orange kitten out (our first cat, the older cat was the second to come into the home). As I chased after the kitten in the yard, I could hear her yelling at my boyfriend. She then retaliated by telling my niece not to give us the information for the potential new owner.
My boyfriend then reported the intrusion to the police. Once they were notified by the police, my parents used the analogy that if I had my mom and boyfriend hanging on a cliff, I would save my boyfriend. Even though all we’re trying to do is love this cat, it seems that my mom just wants control and my dad simply goes along with it in order to avoid facing her. Today, things came to a head because my mom wanted to kick both of us out if we don’t get rid of the cat. My boyfriend was able to rehome him, but now it’s creating tension.
Am I the asshole for standing by my boyfriend in this? My mom shares her negative opinions of my boyfriend, causing guilt in me for choosing him over my parents, saying things like “no one will love you as much as we do”, “he’s manipulating you”, “I have a right to go in there because I’m your mom and you need to give me my place as your mother”.
Lease? No lease? Landlords can’t just enter.
I assume you are getting a real good deal on rent?
Maybe start looking for a new place?
Mom sounds like a lot to deal with.
ESH, with the exception of the niece and possibly your father.
So if your landlord wasn’t your parents – you wouldn’t be allowed pets without permission. You probably wouldn’t have tried this bs.
If your tenant wasn’t your kid – you probably wouldn’t have entered property without permission etc.
I think your boyfriend’s a bit silly for calling the police – are you guys thinking you’ll be long term? How’s hanging out with people you called the police on going to go? What happens if you get evicted now? All over a cat you ‘pinky swore’ over. Get a grip.
Roght? Just dumb decisions all around.
Happy to be told I’m wrong but I imagine OP gets more benefits from renting from then than vice versa, really questioning calling the police here.
You and your BF should have checked with your landlord, point blank. Your mom is not responsible for your poor planning. You could have dropped the cat off at a shelter, instead your brought it home.
YTA
ESH except the niece. You had no business bringing in a cat without the landlord’s (your mother’s) permission, not even if you already had one cat. Your mother had no business pushing her way into your space. I’d bet you and your mother don’t have a proper lease, which is common among family members, and which often leads to exactly this sort of problem (both sides, you and your mother, assuming rights you don’t have). Still, not having a lease shouldn’t mean poor behaviour being acceptable, even though lots of people think it does. Your boyfriend was way off base in insulting your mother – and it was also a stupid action, considering she is, in some way, your landlord and could evict one or both of you legally.
The only solution is for you and your boyfriend to find another place to live, with a proper lease, and then to obey the terms of the lease regarding cats and everything else.
>ESH except the niece.
And except the cats.
ESH except for the cat
When you don’t own the place you’re living in, you can’t just bring in pets all willy-nilly without getting clearance from the landlord. You’re an AH for making “pinky promises” you couldn’t keep.
Your mom is an AH for barging in.
Either way, you should find another place to live.
Both you & bf are wrong. His lease says no pets. Your mom is your landlord, you don’t have any kimd of legal contract for you to be there. Your mother said no to any other pet. You got another pet! I’d kick you out, too. Rules apply to you,too, OP.
YTA
ESH you have to check with your landlord before getting a pet. Your mom seems controlling and mean.
YTA. You took in a cat when the landlord didn’t allow it, your boyfriend acted all superior with your mother, and your boyfriend called the police on her. Way to allow a entitled, rude boyfriend to ruin your relationships with your family.
Oh god, how old are you? Pinky swearing, really??? My bf called the police on my mother…… what is wrong with you people.
Im saying this as someone why has 2 cats they would die for..
Edit to add…
Ps, please don’t even consider to have kids until you grow up
ESH
if she has any sensed, she will kick you out as soon as she can.