Yesterday my husband, our 3-year-old daughter, and I were in a very small frozen yogurt shop. Our daughter has ADHD and is very busy and impulsive, so we were already trying to manage her while ordering.
While we were still getting our things, a woman came in with her two teenage children. Instead of waiting or giving us a bit of space, they started helping themselves and crowded right next to us, making it difficult for us to move or finish ordering.
When we walked out of the shop, I made a general comment out loud saying something like, “I wish people could give others a bit more space.” I wasn’t speaking directly to anyone.
The woman immediately snapped, swore at me, and called me a derogatory name. Her reaction felt very aggressive and out of proportion to what I said. My husband responded sarcastically by telling her she was a “wonderful woman,” and we walked away.
Now I’m wondering if I was wrong for making the comment at all, or if her reaction was completely out of line.
AITA?
YTA. Passive aggression is infuriating. Either talk to her like a fellow human being or wait until she can’t hear you.
YTA – No need to be passive aggressive. Speak to them like an adult, asking them to give you some space, or say nothing until you’re out of earshot. Whether or not her reaction was appropriate isn’t the question. You were out of line.
YTA. It’s a small shop. You can’t expect everyone to sit back and do nothing until you’re done. And how did it make it “difficult for you to order?” Don’t use your daughter as an excuse to be rude. And if you have a problem, just say, “Sorry, could you back up a bit? I’m having trouble hearing?” or whatever.
YTA the passive aggressive comment when she’s still in earshot is petty and doesn’t accomplish anything. Her reaction was out of proportion, but still. You should have politely asked her to give you some space in the moment or waited until you were in private to complain.
YTA
You’re in public, it’s your job to manage yourselves and your daughter appropriately. If you had a problem or needed more space, you could’ve used your words like an adult. It’s not their job to know what you need, and I say this as someone with many issues myself. I would’ve either spoken up or moved and removed myself from the situation until it was easier for me to manage.
And you absolutely were saying it to her, otherwise you wouldn’t have said it at all.
Yta
YTA. you said it loud enough they would hear & no one else was in the shop. so of course it was directed at them.
YTA. You’re out in public and even admit you’re in a small shop. You want them to wait outside to you to finish wrangling your out of control child? Then rather than just leaving you wanna drop snarky comments to spark a confrontation? To start drama for dramas sake? Horrible example to set for your kid
So, you think that because your kid has ADHD and was “very busy” (running all over the shop?), that total strangers (who have no idea about that) should alter their normal shopping behavior? YTA
YTA. You knew exactly what you were doing making that snarky comment, you’re just surprised she actually clapped back. Also blaming any of this on your toddler’s ‘ADHD’ is weird. Most toddlers have behaviors similar to ADHD, it’s the parent’s job to guide them and you just weren’t doing a good job of that.
You made a comment about a person that was invading your personal space in their presence and feel offended that they turned on you? You were poking the bear, you made a comment that provoked her and you’re surprised this rude person clapped back?
Learn to read people better, someone invading your personal space is not going to appreciate your subtlety.
You said your kid was ***”very busy and impulsive, so we were already trying to manage her while ordering”.*** Sounds like your kid was out of control, and other shoppers were just trying to get their order and leave. YTA.
YTA. Get out of here with your passive aggressive comments. Don’t be surprised when passive aggressive gets met with direct aggression. And learn to control your kid.
YTA. Being passive aggressive accomplishes nothing but getting people angry. Nothing wrong with politely saying”excuse me, we’re not quite done.” However, it sounds like they might have been trying to see what flavors looked like before deciding. Honestly, that’s not unreasonable. Your child needs to practice coping techniques to help navigate the world as she gets older. All 3 yos are busy and impulsive–i haven’t met many who aren’t. This could have been a good teachable moment for your daughter rather than allowing yourself to get stressed out.