I received a free iPhone 14 Pro from work. It previously belonged to the owner of my company, and our IT guy told me I could keep it because it was going to be recycled. I don’t need it because I already have an iPhone 14 Pro Max.
When I first got the phone, I told my parents and sister that I could trade it in toward a new phone for my sister, which would reduce the cost by about $300. She currently has an iPhone 11 from 2019 and is getting a new phone regardless; the only question is whether that $300 difference comes from me trading in this phone or from my parents paying it themselves.
I haven’t sold the phone yet, and I could still choose to trade it in to help my sister. However, after thinking about it more, I’m considering selling it to a resale company like BackMarket for about $380 in cash. I live by myself thousands of miles away from my parents. While they help me with some things, I’m largely self-sufficient: I work full-time and pay my own rent, food, and expenses.
For context, I’m 24 and in a decent financial position for my age (around $32,000 in savings, zero debt, and about $34,000 saved for retirement). My parents are financially well off and can easily afford the phone without the trade-in. No one expects me to help, my parents have put zero pressure on me to do this, and selling the phone would not damage my relationship with them; we’re very close.
That said, my mom is disappointed because I initially offered to trade in the phone as a generous gesture and then started reconsidering. From my perspective, trading it in feels like giving away $380. It’s not make-or-break money for me, but it is money I could use, especially toward building my net worth.
I know it’s easy to say “it’s your phone, they can afford it,” but my conflict is more about the moral issue of changing my mind after offering to do something generous, rather than any obligation to use the phone to help my sister. There was no pressure from my parents to help, it was entirely my idea to offer in the first place.
Update: Based on all the feedback I got here, I called my mom back and told her I made up mind, and that I will give the phone to trade in for my sister. I realized that $300 isn’t really all that much money for me in the grand scheme of things and I don’t want to appear like the type of person to go back on his word.
At first my mom seemed upset and refused, saying “no, you already cried poverty to me, so just sell the phone, I don’t do well when people change like this” referring to me changing my mind. I insisted though and told her I changed my mind because I thought about it more, and initially when I said I would sell it for myself it was just because I was playing devil’s advocate, which is true. I was on the fence about actually rescinding my offer and the idea to sell it came into my mind after realizing the phone has 1TB of space and is worth more than I thought.
Anyway, we discussed the trade in and I think my parents are ok. I feel especially guilty though, and like a bad person, because I don’t want my parents to think I’m doing it only because I feel guilty. If I do it now it doesn’t seem genuine, but I guess that’s a lesson I learned. I’m still going to do it.
YTA they didn’t ask or pressure you into it. You offered it and then took it back for no reason
It’s all there in the title, “after I said I would.” I read the whole thing: you have $34,000 for retirement, PLUS $32,000 in savings???? Dude. And your parents still help you out here and there? It’s less than $400, and you already said it could go towards your sister’s phone. Keep your word.
It’s shitty to go back on your promise
You agreed and they already made plans. And for you to take back the agreement. Makes you out to be an unfaithful human. Parents don’t want you to be an ass in life. It really pictures a parents view that what a total selfish human we raised wow if he’s like that to his own family, we can’t imagine how he treats other people in his life. At the end of the day, it’s not all about money
Yeah buddy, YTA here. Don’t say you’re going to do something and then straight up not do it because you want to “increase your net worth” (which makes your entire post seem suspiciously like ragebait bullshit, btw. But let’s give you the benefit of the doubt). Why don’t you not be a dong bag and sell the phone for $380, make good on your promise and give your sister the $300 to use towards the phone, then pocket the rest. Pretty simple solution here bud.
YTA because you offered it and rescinded the offer for a reason as shallow as “net worth”. If you were short on bills coming up or something of the sort then that’d be a fair reason and I’m sure they’d understand. But purely because that’s an extra $300 that can go towards your $30k in savings? Yea it comes off as miserly.
YTA.
You said you would do it. You’re being greedy over $300 and it’s going to completely ruin your relationship with your family. Greed is NOT good. It’s one of the seven deadly sins for a reason. Because using it as an excuse to yank out of an offer you put forth, no one asked or demanded, ruins relationships and causes you to confirm that people cannot trust you in the future.
Also, stop making promises you won’t keep.
YTA for all the reasons others have already stated.
YTA, if you offer to gift someone something, don’t rescind the offer.
YTA
You offered to do something nice, then changed your mind because you decided you’d rather have the money.
YTA. You offered as a generous gesture, and even though your parents can afford it, you took the offer away. If you can sell the phone for $380, you should give your sister the $300 you initially offered and take the $80 and buy yourself something you’ve been wanting to remind yourself that it’s good to do nice things for other people, especially for those that still “help you with some things”.
Yta! Take the loss on the $380 and count this as an important lesson learned, don’t offer something you aren’t willing to give up. 🤷🏻♀️
YTA for backtracking without reason other than money.
That said, why can she not just use the 14 Pro? That is still a great phone. Trading it in seems like a waste.
“No one expects me to help”
“When I first got the phone, I told my parents and sister that I could trade it in toward a new phone for my sister”
I can think of three people who are expecting you to help, because you said you would.
YTA