I (23F) live with my partner (25M) and we both work the same temporary work-from-home job, which is due to end in March 2026. I’m pregnant and due May 2026. Because of our finances and the timing, keeping this job matters. I am eligible for UK maternity pay, but we still need to stay reliable until then. My partner frequently falls asleep during work hours. When this happens, I wake him because long gaps in activity are logged, and we’ve already been spoken to by management in the past about productivity. If he slept through work, it could realistically cost us the job. When I wake him, he gets irritated and says I’m treating him like a child or that I’m “complaining” when he’s just minding his own business. This also affects shared responsibilities at home. On the one night a week we have his child (7M), my partner recently fell asleep early in the evening. I ended up supervising his child alone and later woke my partner so he could put him to bed. When I brought up that this upset me, he again said I was complaining and that he was just tired. This isn’t a one-off. He often agrees to plans or responsibilities and then drops out at the last minute because he’s tired, which means I either go alone or take over whatever was meant to be shared. Because I’m the driver, I don’t always have the option to opt out in the same way. We’re supposed to take turns doing chores, but when it’s his turn, it often turns into arguments or delays, and things build up unless I step in. After this happened again recently, I told him I felt like I was constantly having to wake him, remind him, or pick things up, and that it was exhausting. He said I was treating him like a child and making an issue out of nothing.
AITA for waking him when he falls asleep during work or shared responsibilities, or should I stop intervening and let things play out even if it causes problems?
NTA but seriously make an appointment with a doctor
If he’s sleeping that much without a discernible reason there’s probably something bad happening health wise
He doesn’t even seem like he cares to notice it.
Chronic sleep deprivation, such as with severe sleep apnea, can cause both excessive daytime sleepiness and significant cognitive decline. Before calling him an AH, it’s important to make sure that the reason he doesn’t care to fix it is not because he can’t actually process that this is a problem.
And what does HE bring to the table? Outside of an increase to your physical and mental load.
NTA. But have you ruled out an iron deficiency, or anything else medical? Is he staying up late and therefore wiped out the next day?
I agree, it’s irritating and he needs to do his part. But I’d have him see a doctor and get all his levels checked before slamming him for this.
Info: is he staying up super late playing video games or something? If he is, he’s a selfish A with messed up priorities. If not, he should see a doctor.
NTA, but unsure why you’re having a child with this irresponsible child.
Not trying to defend dude, cuz it sounds like he might just be kinda lazy / irresponsible, *BUT* he could also have a serious medical condition that is causing this.
You’re NTA for needing more support in both your jobs and your personal lives, but I’d definitely see about getting him to a doctor to see if there’s something going on with him medically
So he won’t see a doctor/try to find the cause. He doesn’t drive. He doesn’t take care of his kid. You don’t have a stable income long term.
I think you have a right to be annoyed that you’re doing everything and having to manage him to get him to function, but kinda YTA for bringing another kid into the mess.
You dont have a boyfriend, you have a child. If he cannot be responsible enough to maintain employment or parent his current child what makes you believe he will be a decent parent to the one you are carrying?
Love is great but reality is always present. You realistically need to plan your life as if he will not contribute or be an active participant.
NTA
but.. I’m telling you right now, this will get worse when you two welcome your newborn.
I feel so bad for her and that poor baby. She’s about to be so sad and lonely.
This man is not a good one. If it’s a medical condition, then that’s something he needs to be proactive about, what makes him a bad person isn’t asleep, it’s how he treats her.
Why are you having his baby?
*Two* women (well, one of them might have been a girl given his age) decided to have a baby with this guy. I do not understand why some women have such low standards for themselves. It’s fucking depressing.