My mom booked my dress-shopping trip right after my brother’s sports game. I was already upset about that because this was supposed to be my special day, and it felt like an afterthought squeezed into his schedule instead of something focused on me.
When we finally got to the store, I picked out a few V-neck dresses. The moment I tried the first one on, my mom’s eyes went straight to my chest. It made me instantly uncomfortable. She told me my chest was “popping out,” even though my chest isn’t even big. After that, every time I tried on another dress, she kept staring at my boobs, making faces, scoffing, or giving me looks of disgust.
I was already feeling ignored and pushed to the side, and then the one day that was supposed to be about me feeling confident and excited turned into me feeling insecure and embarrassed about my own body. I ended up crying in the change room, and instead of comforting me, my mom got mad at me for crying.
On top of that, she made a comment like, “Just keep going to the gym,” which honestly broke me. I’ve only recently started to feel comfortable with my body, and hearing that on my day made me feel disgusting, dirty, and like there was something wrong with me just for having a chest.
We did eventually find a dress that I love (a U- neck) and I’m grateful for that, but I left the store feeling absolutely horrible. I cried the entire car ride home because a day that was supposed to be about me feeling beautiful ended with me feeling the complete opposite.
I keep going back and forth. On one hand, I’ve never made comments about her body when helping her shop for dresses, and I expected the same respect. On the other hand, I feel guilty for crying in public and maybe embarrassing her but then again it’s not like I was having a breakdown and the only other people in the store were the two workers and a bride with her mother.
NTA Your mom was awful. Just how awful depends on:
How old are you, what is occasion, and who is paying?
It sounds like your mother is projecting on you. She’s probably very unhappy about her own body and it taking it out on you.
You deserve to feel good and comfortable in your body. She is a bully and I bet you looked amazing in all the dresses.
P.S. your mother is the AH
NTA. Your mother said things that made you uncomfortable and followed up with “keep going to the gym,” which, in other contexts could be motivating, but here . . . Was her way of saying “change your body because I’m uncomfortable.” Emotions often pile up. Your mom may not have meant to hurt your feelings but intentions don’t always matter when you used to feel uncomfortable in your own skin and someone resurrects that.
Your mom is awful. She tore you down then got mad about you being upset.
Next time dress shopping with her I would return the same energy but then I’m petty
NTA. Your mom is horrible and toxic, and has clearly warped your norms of what is okay if you’re asking if you’re the AH. Her behaviour is terrible, and your reaction to her terrible behaviour is normal. I want to give you a maternal hug and protect you from her. Nobody should be treated they way she treated you on any day of the week, let alone shopping for such an important dress.
NTA unfortunately it’s very common for mothers to make their daughters feel bad about their bodies for no reason. I’m sorry she didn’t make you feel beautiful. Crying after someone you love makes you feel horrible is a common and rational reaction. She doesn’t like that you cried because she wants you to think this treatment is normal
No matter your size or shape, there are dresses that will help you look fabulous and I’m sure you found one
Your mum is an AH, I’m so sorry. NTA for crying.
NTA. I’m so sorry your mom treated you this way. Crying in public is nothing to be ashamed of, and if your mom was embarrassed that’s on her – both for her treatment of you and for her reaction to you being upset by it. You’re not responsible for how she behaves or for her emotions.
I hope you enjoy your dress and have a great event. And when you get to where you have a choice, go shopping with someone else.
You literally just posted about telling your teenage children their Christmas budgets. Are you a mom or a teenager?
Gotta love when people make up stuff for karma.
posts are hidden now.. not suspicious at all
NTA. Your Mom is a bully. Don’t sugar coat things: she is bullying you. Tell your grandparents, your aunts, your uncles, cousins, teachers, neighbours, people at her church. Shame the absolute F out of her. You are 17, the good news is that in less than a year you should be able to write her off.
NTA, you’re a teenager your mother should not be commenting on your body in that manner. It’s not healthy in any way. She is treating you as a burden, but you should know that you are not. No one can make you feel that way, let alone a parent. They’re supposed to be your biggest supporter not your biggest bully. I know it’s hard, I grew up with toxic parents too, but try to be true to you and stay positive that some day you could optionally remove her from your life.
NTA. This is what emotional abuse looks like. This is not about you. This is about your mother’s need to put you down so she feels better about herself.
You can look at it like this. Mom is a mean girl and you are her favorite victim. This was never about you and you have done absolutely nothing wrong other than wanting basic respect and support from someone who feels like she is the only one in the relationship that deserves respect.