Background: I’m on medical leave from my trade school. The school counselor oversees my admission to campus and the requirements for my return.
I’ve been sending her follow-up emails summarizing our phone-calls throughout my leave. I always invite correction and to let me know if I’ve misunderstood anything. She’s told me multiple times she won’t reply to my emails because they’re not HIPPA-compliant, but I still send them for a written record.
My psychologist has contacted her manager and the center director to clarify the documents she needs to approve my return.. because her emails for my requirements were too vague and phone calls turn into a "he said, she said" mess.
Today, I was approved for my return.
Not before letting me know I disrespected her boundaries by emailing her multiple times when she made it clear she won’t reply to emails. She also made me promise to stop emailing her.
In her words, it would be wise if I saw an LMFT (like her) instead of my psychologist to learn how to be more agreeable and create "win-win" situations instead of being argumentative and making her feel defensive.
She also said it’s problematic that I’ve been calling her often to check the status of my return and updates with my mental health team instead of waiting for the phone appointment every month (which is only a single phone call and she can’t give me time of when she’ll call).
I’ve been fed up with her a few times and couldn’t bother to sound fake polite when there was a miscommunication issue. But I was surprised and a bit disheartened she labeled me as someone aggressive and difficult to work with.
It’s like asking for clarification and documentation is being unagreeable and disrespectful but if there’s nothing wrong, then what’s the problem?
AITA?
INFO How often did you contact her? What did the miscommunication consist of?
I’ve worked with HIPPA records and would be annoyed if a client kept emailing me after I told them I couldn’t answer as it wasn’t compliant. It wouldn’t reflect well on the client. And it wouldn’t do what OP’s stated purpose of creating a record as the counselor is not confirming the info as she cannot if it is not HIPPA compliant. Which also suggests client lacks either basic understanding or is intentionally obtuse.
OP isn’t coming off as a reliable narrator here.
This ⏫⏫⬆️⏫⏫
This is what I was confused about!
I emailed asking her when I was violating HIPPA or what part of HIPPA I was violating whenever I emailed asking her for clarity of what documents she needed. I still don’t really understand how it works. And if there was another way to contact her because only being allowed to call her once a month felt too little and I didn’t want to find out the month of I ended up missing something or I misunderstood her.
It isn’t that you are violating HIPPA, it is that she cannot communicate with you via a non-compliant email. She could lose her job and license if she does.
eta I know it is frustrating that you have limited contact with her, I really do. She likely has many many clients and has to keep order so she can actually do her job. Your continued boundary breaking made it more difficult for her to do her job to help you and others.
Your comment gives much more perspective, thank you. It’s just frustrating because it feels like we get nowhere over the phone and it’s easier for me if she made it plain and clear what exactly she needs from me. Because she’d say one thing over the phone and I missed it or it was too vague but I didn’t want to go in circles and make the phone call longer.
I suspect you’re not using an institutional email. We have this issue with FERPA sometimes too. The idea is that if you email us from OP@yahoogle.com instead of OP@myschool.edu, “you” might really be your mom or your abusive ex.
Oh, this makes sense. I wasn’t using the institutional email. Before this, she was sending updates to my gmail one so it’s my fault I assumed it was okay. I don’t know if using my school’s institutional email would’ve changed anything but maybe I’m wrong.
It was probably an accident when she did it earlier and she may well have received a reprimand for it.
Yuuuuuup. I feel like anyone saying NTA and the counselor is just being annoying has no idea what it means to work with federal mandates for privacy, and the nightmare it can create when a client refuses to work inside those parameters.
Not enough context. Are you phoning her when you should be waiting for an appointment?
YTA
Yta