I ended up with the highest GPA in my class but I want to explain the situation. It wasn’t a super competitive class, most people were checked out so I stood out a lot. I’ll admit I cut corners sometimes like most students but not all the time. I didn’t expect to rank first. I assumed another student would. I’ve had top grades before without doing anything weird, so beating that student wasn’t a big deal to me.
Here’s where it gets messy. One teacher in a harder subject barely noticed me the first grading period cause I didn’t participate much. I’m super quiet and speaking in front of class makes me shake and panic. My test scores were above average for my class but not as high as students in other sections.
After the first term, she pulled me aside and said she had used her discretion to adjust my grade to fit my GPA. She said I “owe her” this adjustment and not to tell anyone cause it’s unethical. She also told me I’d have to “make up for it” in future grading periods. Her grading method wasn’t really clear. Participation seemed to matter more than tests.
In the next terms I didn’t recite much and I was bad at presentations. I’m a passive learner, I cram, do well on tests, then forget. Public speaking makes me shake and panic. She clearly got frustrated. She overpraised another student who always spoke up even when her answers were basic, calling her “really smart.” Every time my GPA or rank came up, she looked disappointed and unimpressed.
She singled me out in discussions and made me feel like a joke sometimes. My classmates noticed and some started acting like they were smarter than me just because of how she treated me. Near the end of the year I was the only one cold-called with a surprise question. I froze. I had barely studied, school had been boring, and I mostly crammed right before class.
She openly questioned my intelligence and my rank in front of class. She gossiped a lot in lessons, asked friends if I was “actually smart,” gave leadership roles to others, and emphasized they were the “real smart” ones. She’d make indirect comments like performance in other subjects didn’t matter if you weren’t good in her class. I was given minor errands while others got real responsibilities.
By the final grading period it was obvious grades were mostly locked in. Effort didn’t matter. She ended up giving the top spot to the other student. Some grades shot up without reason.
So AITA for not reciting or participating when she did me this “favor” and said I “owe” her? I get anxious and tremble every time I’m put on the spot in class.
Your not, everyone hates being put on the spot
‘After the first term, she pulled me aside and said she had used her discretion to adjust my grade to fit my GPA. She said I “owe her” this adjustment and not to tell anyone cause it’s unethical.’
What she did is completely & utterly *unethical* & she should be reported. You are NTA here at *all*
Co-sign. She gave you an inflated mark you didn’t earn, told you you “owed” her for it, publically mocked you for not performing at the level of the inflated grade, then downgraded you at the end of the year? Report this entire situation to your school’s administration.
You never asked for the “favour” and then she expected payback for it? NTA
Honestly I would be suspicious of any adult that pressures a student into owing them a “favor”. If this was a male teacher think of how that would look!
Not just the favor, but the secret! Ew no do not give unsolicited favors and require payback and secrets. Super gross. NTA
NTA
Your teacher sounds like a toolbelt, but take it as a lesson. You’ll unfortunately meet people like this in the work world too, and have bosses who act like this. If you can figure out how to manipulate them instead of just being the butt of their harassment and get them to work for you, you will dominate.
She is an AH, but AHs can be properly used to your benefit, and just be the abusers. Hope you know that you sound like you’re a brilliant person who’s strengths lay beyond her understanding or capability to support and that is why schools should not have a one size fits all teaching method.
NTA. and i would also talk to someone higher than her
No. Your teacher is the AH. Every student requires different types of support to be successful. I am the opposite of you, I test poorly but do well on projects and in class. I would want a teacher that could teach how to read the question appropriately. For a student that does poorly at public speaking or projects I would want at teacher that engaged student with appropriate support there. I would expect a fair assessment of my work and would hate a teacher arbitrarily changing the weighting even if it favored me.
Where you can do better is to recognize projects and public speaking are important skills for success in the work place. Work places rarely test.
Here’s the deal. Some classes are indeed graded on participation. Teacher should have just failed you to begin with for not participating in class.
Sounds like you earned your grade. So yeah, you YTA for squandering the chance they gave you.
Also, you arnt really learning anything if you just cram and forget it.
Education is the sum of knowledge you leave school with, not the record of the classes you passed.
Thanks for this
No one likes being put on the spot, but the point is the learn how to deal with it, especially if you’re going to class regularly. You can’t hope to duck out.
My strategy has been to anticipate my manager’s interests and questions and be the first to offer an observation or insight. Get it out of the way and then she moves on to calling out others.
Some teachers are assholes. She is one of them. NTA.