i (26f) have been dating my bf ashton (25m) for about six months. we generally get along but i’ve noticed a pattern where he interrupts me, cracks jokes at my expense, or brushes off my concerns by saying i’m “too sensitive” or that i’m “overreacting”. i’ve mentioned this before and he says he doesn’t mean anything by it and that i should let things go.
last night we went out to dinner at a sit-down restaurant. i was looking forward to it because we hadn’t had much quality time recently. during the date i noticed him repeatedly glancing toward another woman who was walking past our table. it wasn’t just quick looks either. he kept staring and quietly said “damn” a couple of times. i felt uncomfortable and ignored but i didn’t say anything at first.
later i started telling him about a stressful situation at work. he interrupted me to correct a minor detail and then said i tend to exaggerate which made me feel dismissed. when our server came by i asked a question about the menu and ashton answered for me by saying i’d “just get the chicken” because i’m picky. that isn’t accurate and it bothered me that he spoke for me.
at that point i calmly told him i felt disrespected and asked him to stop interrupting me and talking over me. he responded by rolling his eyes and saying i was making a big deal out of nothing and that he wanted to have a “normal dinner”.
i felt embarrassed and didn’t think the conversation was going anywhere productive so i told him i was going to leave. i paid for my drink and went home. he texted me afterwards saying i was dramatic and that leaving during the date embarrassed him. he believes i should have waited until we got home to talk it through.
i wanna see his point that walking out may have felt abrupt but i also felt that staying would have meant ignoring how uncomfortable i was. AITA?
NTA, but why are you dating this guy? It sounds like he neither likes you nor respects you.
NTA, but keep walking and dump this guy. He’s just not that interested and sounds really rude and disrespectful. You can do better.
NTA. Your hopefully ex-boyfriend sure is though. He doesn’t see you as a person, you’re only a girlfriend appliance to him. You’re supposed to sit down, shut up, look pretty and do as you’re told.
Don’t ever let anyone speak for you, order for you, or diminish you. You’re worthy of more than he’s able to give.
NTA. You would be an ahole to yourself if you stayed in this relationship. There are so many red flags 🚩 in the description of just this one night. He does not respect you.
NTA people who say you’re too sensitive or overreacting are often manipulative and just want you to shut up. Honestly it doesn’t sound like he actually likes you at all. The way he talks so for you and answers for you he has no respect for you. So unless you’re into the type of relationship where he’s the boss and what you say doesn’t matter I would call it quits.
NTA,unless you decide to keep dating him.
He is disrespectful towards you, invalidates your feelings and openly gawks at other women even though he knows it makes you uncomfortable.
I genuinely feel that relationship stuff should be taught at school.
nta. what do you mean “when yall got home”? are you living together?
youve got to leave or kick him out and break up.
hes getting the verbal abuse normalized. hes starting to train you for the abuse to keep ramping up. when it wears you down – you wont notice until you realize you are trapped with no friends or family in your life.
NTA. He doesn’t respect you & he’s gaslighting you. Leave his ass
Sounds like yall are Over – he mocks you and stares at random other ladies when you’re out together. Maybe he was hoping for a lighthearted meal instead of hearing about your stresssors but he didn’t have to mock you or dismiss your concerns . NTAH for leaving . I do think you’ve out grown each other
So he eyes another woman and mutters how hot she is
He blows off your dinner discussion and belittles you
He’s disrespectful to you to the waiter and belittles your *food choices*
Is this the person you want to be with forever? Or even next week?
NTA I think he is too sensitive. He is overreacting by feeling embarrassed because you left… Left for good I hope?
NTA
Your old enough to know when someone shows you who they are you should believe them. He disrespects you, gaslights you, diminishes your fears and shuts you down. Let go of this no hoper before you end up thinking this behaviour i acceptable. Move on, he has made it clear he isn’t actually interested in you at all.
YTA to yourself if you stay with this guy. He has no respect for you and it’ll only get worse.
NTA, after the first paragraph, let alone the rest. Girl, run.