My best friend and I talked about homecoming once. She asked if I was going and I said yes. We never talked about it again. She assumed that meant I was going with her. I didn’t know, so I made plans with other friends and didn’t end up hanging out with her at the dance at all. She could have approached me at any point during the dance and I would have hung out with her but she didn’t. She didn’t talk to me for two weeks and I didn’t know why. She literally didn’t say a word to me for a while two weeks. I had to find out why she was mad at me through a third party. She told a friend who told my friend who told me. Once I found out I apologized to her and she never apologized for the crap she gave me. Then, a few weeks later myself, and a few friends were talking about starting a podcast. One of them, we‘ll call him Cole, went and told my best friend I didn’t want her on the podcast before I even had the opportunity to tell her because he saw her before I did in the day. She texted me about it after not talking to me again for another week, and was trying to emotionally manipulate me like she has been for the last several years.
I ended the friendship and told her that if she came and apologized to my face for all the stuff she did I would forgive her. It’s been three months, still no apology.
I also learned from a friend now she is talking crap about me behind my back.
AITA for expecting the apology from her?
YTA for wanting to start a podcast.
>I also learned from a friend now she is talking crap about me behind my back.
And you were talking behind her back.
You both sound awful.
It sounds like you’re better off without this person. She seems to be significantly more invested in the relationship than you, but is fully entrenched in “guess culture” where she feels like she’s not allowed to voice what she wants out loud. This can come off as super manipulative, and it’s also annoying as fuck. You’ve actively apologized and told her what she needs to do in order to make amends, and has turned to insulting you to others. Dodged a bullet, and you should continue dodging it if she does decide to come back around. NTA.
By the way, did you ask your friend Cole WTF for going out of his way to tell her that? Why is he going and starting up shit with her on your behalf? Did he apologize to you for that? Did you think to ask him for an apology? You don’t need people stirring more drama up involving you.
Yeah I talked to Cole about we’re all good. Thanks for your advice
Are you sure she was your *best* friend? You made plans with other friends on a night where she’d be present and seemingly didn’t even mention any of that to your supposed best friend even in casual conversation?
You both sound kinda lame. ESH.
I had previously asked her who she was hanging with at the dance and she had said it was a group of people I didn’t enjoy being with.
You could have still popped over to say hi and chat a while. You aren’t married to who you arrived with, and you aren’t obligated to stay with a group once you go over and say hi. Either way, I still think she’s got to sort her own shit out before you even consider hanging out with her again. But the point about socializing stands!
Why didn’t you approach her during the dance if you went with other friends? It’s a two way street. You can’t be mad at her for not doing something you could’ve done also at the dance.
You emotionally manipulated her.
She emotionally manipulated you.
ESH