31M, fiancé is 25F. We met through an arranged marriage through parents (Asian culture). Country : Australia
At the time we met I was running a business which was profitable, generating upto 300k p.a in revenue ( Australian dollars), long story short – the business got vandalised, assets stolen and I had to start from 0 under a new brand.
The relaunched business has been running at a loss because I put my life savings into saving it and ran out of money to put into marketing or any growth. My partner comes from a family of generational wealth and does not want her family to support us, with her intention to protect her family assets they have built. All her family assets are overseas.(3rd world, collapsing economy, political corruption etc)
I have a green card, she doesn’t, and is expecting her green card through me which is in progress.
The business is facing bankruptcy if it continues to run at a loss, which she doesn’t seem to care as long as her family assets are protected. AITA for expecting some sort of financial support from her and her family to save the business and the future we’re building?
Edit – I should have clarified, just $20k would save the business at this stage which I’m happy to pay back as a loan, her family is sitting on millions. The complete refusal from her side is what has me concerned, yet I’m TA according to most responses here.
Info: I’m confused. Are you expecting financial support from your wife or from her family?
You’re both TA. Sounds like you want to use her for her money and she wants to use you for a green card.
Apart from the arranged aspect, theres seems to be no relationship between you. No hint of any mutual affection, love or even respect.
If you want any semblance of a normal loving marriage, you need to find it elsewhere.
So I consider your comment to be ignorant. It is an arranged marriage and you are judging it by standards where 2 people marry because they love one another.
You saying they are TA is you judgung a whole culture where people may get married for factors other than love.
I’m not from that culture but you’re coming across as hugely discriminatory and completely uneducated.
OP – I think you’re TA primarily for your ref to the assets being 3rd world yet those very assets from a place you look down on (your roots) is what you covet.
Your families struck a bargain. The answer of whether you’re TA goes back to that bargain. If they never primised you financial assistance – you’re out of place to expect it.
I 100% as a parent will not give my hard earned money to my son in law who has a failing business. That just sounds like a quick way to lose my money. You’d have to provide me with a business plan that will withstand a bank’s scrutiny for me to LEND you the money.
Uneducated and ignorant because in the absence of love, I think there should be at the very least a level of mutual respect between 2 people will be spending the rest of their lives together?
Who would be considered judgemental and ignorant for making wild assumptions about someone apparently casting aspersions about an entire culture? Which i didn’t do btw.
YTA If it’s such a great business, find some investors.
YTA
It doesn’t matter how wealthy your fiancée’s family is. You (and your business) are not entitled to any of it.
Even if it was your fiancée’s money, you’re not entitled to any of it.
Y t a! Her family owes you nothing.
Everyone sucks here.
You’re not wrong for wanting support from your partner, but you’re absolutely wrong for expecting a financial bailout from her family, especially when she’s been clear she doesn’t want to mix those worlds. That’s not “building a future together,” that’s “please ask your parents to invest in my now sinking ship.”
On the flip side, she sucks too. If she’s committed to a life with you, she should at least acknowledge the stress you’re under and help come up with realistic solutions instead of going full “my family vault stays locked forever, good luck babe.”
But expecting her family’s generational wealth to swoop in to save your business? Not reasonable.
You should focus on rebuilding in a sustainable way that doesn’t require a parental GoFundMe, and she needs to be a better partner in the emotional and practical sense, just not the financial kind.
I should have clarified, just $20k would save the business at this stage which I’m happy to pay back as a loan, her family is sitting on millions. The complete refusal is what has me concerned, yet I’m TA according to most responses here
Have you talked to your fiance about a loan? Arranged marriage or not, communication is the key.
You asked if YTA for “expecting” financial support. Yes you are. Lower your expectations.
Are YTA for “asking for a loan”? No, you are not.
They could say no, but that would change the story. For now, my answer stays the same.
You have an Australian “green card”?
Hmmmmm. Are you perhaps making this story up, obviously American person.
This is mostly an American sub thus the term, PR/citizenship if it makes more sense
The only thing that really matters is your culture under these circumstances, so asking random people may cause extra unneeded stress.