Me (23F) and My Multiple Friends I’ve known since childhood, just had a big fight that ended with all of them turning on me. For Context, two of my friends I’ve known in real life while a few of them, and the rest we met online, planned to finally meet up in real life. I was extremely excited as we were planning on this for a few months. I planned on getting time off for work, since I work three jobs, so I needed to know what days we would all be going. That’s when I got no responses. I finally did get a response back at the end of one of the worsts shifts in my entire life, only to be told I couldn’t come. Not that the trip was cancelled, not that it was unaffordable, That I Couldn’t come.
I need to also mention, we are in a Discord server with a few other dozen people, some of which are newer than others. For some reason, I started feeling a very unwelcoming feeling from these new people. I also noticed that I would get left out of events and people stopped putting as much effort into me as I would them. Anyways, one of these people an older sister of the friends we were visiting, and I was told they had a problem with me. So, after an already hard day at work, I hung up on them since I was still AT WORK, cleaning the place up before we closed. I was asked if I was ok, and I went off on them in text, saying "No I’m feeling like you guys don’t care about me. Do You guys actually want me around?". I said this also out of frustration from the other smaller things I had been noticing I mentioned before. No Response.
So, I finished my shift, went straight home, then told everyone involved going to hope on to a call to get all of this sorted. They were in a call with two other people, one was a new person who has been giving me all sorts of nasty comments and sly remarks, and the other was the older sister. So, when everyone left for the other call, I asked the Older Sister if they had a problem with me. That’s when the New Person Calls me a Slur, and The Older Sister tells me that someone they trust told them I was a terrible person but of course wouldn’t elaborate further.
So, getting no information out of the Older Sister, I ended up going into the call with everyone else. This is when all hell started to break loose. They started attacking me for getting mad with them kicking me out of the trip, then went on to further the point that I was in fact a "Terrible" person. They would talk about times where I’d tell someone about them negatively, backstabbing them at every turn, and how my past was so terrible from the "Rumors" that had been spread around since high school, that they had been considering leaving me for a while. They then promptly told me, no one wanted me in the server, that I was acting completely irrational, and that none of them wanted to be associated with me in the slightest. and after many other incredibly hurtful things they said over 2 hours, I was blocked. I’ve been heartbroken ever since. No Rumors were true.
NTA. They unfortunately are not the friends for you. This group isn’t great for mental health reasons and they aren’t your friends and have made it clear they don’t want you as a friend. I’d be looking for a new friend/s. These ones aren’t worth your headspace anymore.
Be kind to yourself and make new friends that you know IN REAL LIFE. You’re only 23….you will struggle to remember these people’s names in 20 yrs
Two of them were ones I knew in real life, and for a long time. Same with the online friend, but it hurt to lose my IRL friends to this. Especially since I didn’t expect it from one of them.
Looking back from 56 it’s amazing how true this is.
Hurts like fuck at the time, but after even 5 years you’ll have trouble remembering them.
INFO –
Is there any truth to their accusations that you’ve been talking negatively about them to others or that you’ve engaged in behavior they’d perceive as backstabbing?
Was any effort made to communicate why you were disinvited?
Can you clarify what going off on them via text looked like?
1. Due to the negativity of other people in the server, I did bring it up to some other friends of mine, since no one was really standing up for me. Also, this is with people who left the server because of toxicity.
2. Not until the call, in which it was what I stated above. Previously attempts whenever something negative happened resulted in being ignored, hence why 1. Has me talking about my experiences with other people, and what ultimately led me to post it here.
3. F is Friend, M Is Me
F: Are you okay?
M: No
M: I’m tired of feeling like I don’t matter to you guys.
M: It feels like you don’t want me around with all the secretive shit, and it’s making me not want to be around either.
M: No response?
Looking back, I was harsh on how I responded, but this was after years of communication failures and a rough day at work. Odds just were stacked against me.
NTA. It’s time to get some new friends.
Gosh, good riddance. Why even keep people like this in your life? This was tiresome even to read about. These people are actually like middle school bullies, but y’all in your 20s. There’s better than this out there.
Imagine acting like Regina George in a discord server omg so embarrassing for them 😂 please literally never speak to any of them again.
YTA for being 23 years old and not understanding how capital letters and quotation marks work. This is unreadable, and seems like it was written by a 13-year-old.
You don’t need these people as your friends. NTA for feeling betrayed. Take this time to reflect on why people who have known you since childhood would believe “rumors” and be willing to break ties with you over some new people. Do not let any of these people back into your life without public (in the server itself) and private apologies to you. I wouldn’t allow them back in, even after that, but I would get those apologies.