Hi reditt! I’m using a throw away as the people involved in this story are all frequent reditters.
This happened earlier today and I’m wondering if I’m an asshole.
So I work at a after school program. I’m a teacher, so I run classes/lessons. The club has a strict set of rules. The biggest being the phone policy. The policy is super strict since we have a lot of children with court orders that attend the club.
One of our older teens decided to stand in my room on his phone. Our policy dictates that you can only be om your phone for these reasons:
1. You’re texting a parent, while in the snack room.
2. You’re in the teen room
I don’t work in either, so I walked up to him and asked him to please put his phone away. Reiterating the phone policy.
He responded by telling me that I can’t take his phone. I told him that I wasn’t going to, as long as he puts his phone away. As I an a warning then consequences after the warning type person.
His response was telling me to fuck off and he dosent have to listen to me, before storming out of the room.
I did have to tell my boss about it as what he did is extremely disrespectful, and there were younger ages present. We don’t want the younger ones to think it’s ok.
My boss had a long conversation with him. I’m not privy to the specifics but he got removed from the teen room as a consequence. Since that room is a privilege, not a right.
I told both my partner, mom, and older siblings about it over dinner. All of them told me I was a dick for doing that. As he could’ve just been having a bad day. My sister told me that I shouldn’t have switched, because now he’s in trouble for what could’ve been a "off day".
My grandma is the only one who’s on my side. But now that I’m thinking about it, I have off days too. Maybe I shouldn’t have told my boss right away and tried to have a conversation with him beforehand? I just don’t know.
So reditt, am I the asshole for getting him stripped of his club privileges?
NTA
Yes we all have off days. That doesn’t excuse our actions.
NTA – rules are rules for a reason, if they’re an older teen they should be in the teen room anyways where they can be on their phone.
NTA – do you tell your boss to F Off on your off days? Do you deliberately stop following policies and rules you previously agreed to follow and obey?
He is a teenager – a child – yes. Yes, there is more detail in which you can connect and work with kids if you get into the nitty gritty but all that relies on relationships and time. However, not knowing those strategies does not make you an a h. You did your job as you were expected to do.
You know you are teaching a community of kids with every action and choice you make. Teaching them all that it is inappropriate to disrespect others and not follow rules was the right choice.
What the hell kind of garbage is this? YTA for posting BS.
NTA you didn’t get him stripped of his club privileges, he did that all by himself.
NTA teens need to learn how to regulate their emotions that’s part of growing up, if they don’t learn they become entitled assholes which are worse to society imo
Well, you didn’t get his privileges stripped, your boss did. Also, he only lost teen room privileges, not access to the program, so I think NTA. If he had gotten kicked out of the whole program, that might be a different story, as troubled kids generally need a safe place to go after school.
NTA. I’m a high school teacher, so I get it. You were nice about it, but he went nuclear. FAFO
Right? I don’t understand why OP thinks there was a conversation to be had. They were having a conversation. It ended with the kid telling OP to fuck off. That WAS the conversation.
OP has no idea what actually led to the kid being removed from teen room privileges. It’s probable the kid was even more disrespectful with the director and continued their attitude.
NTA. Your partner and most of your family clearly don’t work with children and adolescents.
You didn’t get him kicked out. You asked him to follow a rule that he was aware of, you reminded him of that rule and then you consulted your superior. He got himself kicked out. You should not have to put up with that and neither should the rest of the students.
I’m assuming that this is a group where teachers are giving up their time. That is most definitely a privilege that should be revoked if someone abuses it.
One of the things about most things in life is that, even if you’re having a bad day, you have to follow the rules. You don’t have to be cheerful about it, but you have to follow the rules. NTA
People like your partner, mom, and siblings are actually why that kid has such shitty behavior.
NTA.
I don’t get why you’d even ask this. Your family sounds borderline insane. It doesn’t matter how bad someone’s day is, no teen should be talking to an adult the way he talked to you. Also, clearly the higher up agreed with you.
NTA