I admin a Meetup group page and a lady who was a member, let’s call her "Teresa", approached me and asked when the next event was. I was in the middle of conversation with friends when she approached and she just didn’t care. I told her "I’ll let you know. It’s still up in the air and at this point, we’re gonna play it by ear." She refused to accept that answer and kept trying to pressure me into giving her an exact day. I showed on my face and thru my tone that I was very annoyed, I think she read my facial expressions, and eventually she walked away.
About 2-3 days later, I privately messaged her saying: "Greetings. Just to let you know, you made me very uncomfortable the other day by interrupting me while I was with friends and pressuring me into giving you an exact day. I get that you’re excited about our next meetup, but please only ask once. You asking me over and over again is mild harassment."
Teresa replied back to me by giving me a sad face emoji and saying, "I truly hope you have a blessed day, and I am sorry if you got upset. I don’t want to cause you any discomfort. Once again, I apologize and I hope you have a great day!"
I ignored her apology and didn’t acknowledge it in any way shape or form. True, I could have said something like, "It’s fine, just don’t do it again." or "No worries, we all have our moments." But I never did.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when we were at a restaurant with about 15 other members and I make it clear that when we go to restaurants, it’s always cash only. Teresa used Venmo instead and didn’t bring cash. I remember saying, "TERESA! Did you pay?! What did you get?!" I just couldn’t trust her.
I reported Teresa and made my friend block her from our Facebook group and send her a message saying something along the lines of, "Hi Teresa, we’ve gotten numerous complaints that you’ve made people uncomfortable, given people grief and you’ve skipped out on tabs, because of this, we are uninviting you from all future events. Please do not reach out to other meetup group members and ask them to give you another chance."
AITA?
Gosh… YTA You sound incredibly harsh. Perhaps Teresa is neurodivergent & initially didn’t pick up on social cues? Either way your refusal to accept or acknowledge her apology screams volumes.
You were clearly looking for an excuse to exclude her.
I hope Teresa finds a group where members are more patient & kind.
I’m an admin of a friend group, you definitely like being in charge and sound insufferable.
She apologized and your solution was to tell her to fuck off essentially. Big YTA
YTA and sound like you’re on a power trip.
I agree
you literally ignored her apology and then escalated to getting her removed from the group over a venmo payment, like that’s a massive power move for someone who just made an honest mistake about how to ask a question. the cash only rule is fine but you couldve just asked her to pay you back instead of treating it like she committed fraud, yta
YTA. She could have been excited and lost her brain. She apologized and you ignored her.
You make it sound like she didn’t pay when she clearly did.
YTA
INFO:
>True, I could have said something like, “It’s fine, just don’t do it again.” or “No worries, we all have our moments.” But I never did.
Why didn’t you?
YTA, and unkind.
YTA She sincerely apologized, which you refused to even acknowledge. You also tried to dictate how she paid for her own food. You don’t trust her – but haven’t stated why.
You do not have the right social skills or leadership experience to be in this kind of role.
YTA.
She was a little pushy, sure, but she apologized and you ignored it, then escalated it to getting her kicked out. That’s wildly disproportionate.
Also, calling that “mild harassment” is a stretch. What kind of grown adult reacts like this over someone asking about an event twice? “I’m an admin of a Facebook group” isn’t some position of power—get over yourself.