I’m 23 and my sister is 25, and I still live at home because I’m in school.
The other day, my sister’s car broke down and needed major repairs, so it had to go to the mechanic. My parents decided that she could borrow my car so she still could drive to work insted of public transport.
Normally, I wouldn’t mind lending her my car for a day or two, especially since I’m mostly at home this week writing an exam paper. The problem is that my sister’s car will be at the mechanic for the entire week. It’s one thing to go without a car for a day or two, but I have one evening where I need to go to work and at least one mandatory day where I need to go back and forth to school so my teacher can see my progress.
The school is only about a mile but it’s winter and below freezing, so walking there isn’t comfortable and takes time away from my exam.
My family doesn’t care that I need my car during this time and insists that my sister needs it more because she works farther away.
What makes this worse is that my parents won’t let me use their car instead. Their car is automatic, and I only know how to drive a manual. So while my sister gets my car, I’m expected to walk or wait until my sister have time to drive me, even though I have school and needs to get to work.
This really frustrates me because it’s *my* car. I paid for it myself, and I pay for the gas. Despite that, my family acts like they can lend it out without even asking me.
For some background, this isn’t the first time this has happened. A few other times, I’ve been expected to skip school for several days so my sister could use my car even during periods when my commute to school was longer than hers. No matter the situation, it always seems like my sister’s needs come before mine.
So, AMITA for being angry that my family doesn’t respect the fact that this is my car?
For clarification: I paid for the car myself and cover all expenses that come with owning it. The car is officially registered in my mother’s name only because where I live, insurance costs are significantly higher until you turn 25. Once I turn 25, the car will be registered in my name.
INFO: if you can drive a manual you can definitely drive an automatic. Will they let you use their car?
NTA. Is uber an option?
Wait, it’s your car you bought yourself? Absolutely NTA. Inform your family that you’re happy to help out your sister where you can, but you will be using YOUR car to get to YOUR job and school so she will need to make other arrangements on those days. Hide your keys if you need to. And let it be known that if your car disappears without your permission, you will report it stolen.
Info: Their car is automatic and yours is manual? Your sister can’t share a vehicle with someone else? You can’t access a ride share service? Who pays for the car loan/purchase?
Also if their car is manual you can drive it just fine. It’s the other way around that’s difficult. You’re just going to reach for the clutch a bunch before you realize you don’t need to.
But also…it’s your car.
The manual vs automatic excuse only goes the other way. If you know how to drive, you can drive an automatic; that is not a valid argument. As for being angry, absolutely nta, of course you can be angry! I would be, too. But is it something you can put your foot down about or do you just have to accept it? If it’s your car, it should be your say.
First time my car left without my permission, I would call the police. It is your car and in your name therefore no one can use it without your permission. But it also sounds like it is time to move out if your boundaries are not respected.
Nta
NTA. I would sit everyone down and explain to them that your sister’s car problems are not your car problems. Explain that you paid for the car and if you don’t want to lend it out every day you are not obligated too. Tell them if you need to get law enforcement involved it’s not a problem for you. Your sister is an adult and should be treated as one. If you need YOUR car on a day she also needs it, then it’s on her to figure out a way to get where she needs to be. It’s not your responsibility. If your parents are so comfortable with lending out cars then they should lend theirs.
NTA. But it sounds like they give preference to your sister over your needs. Tell them that it is your car and when you need it, it becomes yours to drive and sister can figure out another way. When they give you any crap, just let them know that you are more than willing to call the police and say it was stolen when you need it and she takes it anyway.
NTA: Please take your car keys back now. I’m so sorry your family is treating you like this, I know it’s hard but your family is treating you like this because you are allowing it. You deserve to be respected and you have to start respected yourself. It’s going to be hard and your are going to get alot of push back from your family. Best wishes.
NTA. Just go pull a coil wire whenever you are not using it and tell them its not working. Tell sis, go, try to start it. It wont start.
Automatic is literally just a simpler version of a manual. That makes no sense. NTA
Nta. Of course your sister doesn’t have to pay for gas in your car, right?
Since the car is in your mother’s name, you are stuck. She gets pissed enough, she can sell it out from under you and the only option you have is to shame her on social media. So, you have to play it smart. She also doesn’t have to transfer the car to you if she doesn’t want to. It may be worth paying the extra insurance if you can get control of the car.
Fwiw, if you can drive a manual, you can drive an automatic just fine. Just don’t go for the brakes with both feet.
NTA It’s your car but how can someone only know how to drive manual and not automatic? It’s the exact same except you only have to shift into one gear-drive. If you can drive manual, you can drive automatic.