I 18 F have been jobless for the past two months. I only had a couple of hundred dollars left from my last paycheck from my job. I lost it in December because it was seasonal, and they no longer needed me as an employee. Anyway, I only pay one subscription a month, and it’s only $10, but for some reason, the $10 I took out of my savings did not seem to be enough because I looked at my account, and it was $15 in the negative and said that I need to handle it before they charge me overdraft fees. I was confused, so I checked my transactions, and it said that I was charged $15 for my moms amazon prime subscription. I looked back to see if anything else was suspicious, and in January, February, and March, I was charged $15 for her Amazon Prime subscription. She never once told me about this or sent me money. And I know she noticed because when I confronted her about it, she told me that she specifically sends money to her Cash App card to pay for anything on Amazon or anything that has a subscription. So I know that she 100% knew that she was not the one who paid for the last three months of her Amazon Prime account that my little brother and I shared with her. I wasn’t aware that I was the one who was paying, so I just assumed that she had paid for the last three months, and that’s how we were still keeping our Amazon Prime account. It’s not a weird thing for me to give her money to pay for her bills or subscriptions, so I’m confused about why she didn’t just ask me; she’s done it before and has paid me back. I feel very hurt and confused because I just felt like she should’ve talked to me and I feel like she was hiding this from Me and I genuinely don’t understand why she didn’t just say something, now I feel weird about money and other things with her and now I’m thinking about all the other times where I gave her money and she never paid me back which I let go because she’s my mom and why would I hold that over her because she doesn’t do that for me. Also, when I called her to get more information to also asked her to pay me back. I told her that she owed me $45, but then she asked me, "wait how much did you overcharge your account?" I was just a little upset because she was acting like she didn’t owe me the $45, and she is low-key acting like she’s only gonna pay me enough to get my account back up to zero, but I want all my money back. Am I crazy for thinking that this is a big deal?
You’re 18 now, close your account changed banks and open a new account. NTA.
ESH Well you said there’s also been times you did this and she let it go. It does NOT sound like a big deal since you’ve both been doing this.
We both have never taken money from each other without asking. Whenever I need money, I usually ask her or my father and sometimes they give it to me. Sometimes I do accidentally charge her card when I’m trying to buy something, but I always cancel the order and inform her about it.
So open your own account without anyone else on it
This is the answer. And close the account with your mom. Unless you’re a minor and need a parent. Either way it is wise to start separating finances when you’re able
I’d guess she didn’t realize you were getting billed for it. And that’s why she didn’t say anything. It’s a subscription.
NTA. You should have transparency about where your money is going. It sounds like your mom is hard up for cash right now and doesn’t want to admit it to you. Even if she’s borrowed money from you before, she should have asked permission for this first; she’s not entitled to your money.
My mom once accidentally charged my bank account $100 (in small purchases over a few weeks) because she was playing a phone game that was attached to my Apple account. When I let her know, she paid me back immediately and then deleted the game because she was so embarrassed to have spent so much. That’s what your mom should do, along with switching the Amazon Prime payment method.
It may be time to get a new debit card — or a new bank account altogether, if she has access to your banking details.
No, you’re not crazy for thinking it’s a big deal.
It’s not just about the $45. Money was coming out of your account without you knowing, and it even pushed your account negative. Anyone (FAMILY OR NOT) would be upset about that.
You should be checking your transactions regularly, especially if money is tight. You would have seen the first transaction happen.
I feel like if you use the account then you should be paying towards it. Either 1/2 or 1/3 depending on how old your brother is.
NTA. Stealing is stealing no matter who does it.
That being said, do you have your card number listed on the account to use? For example, your mother’s is the primary account, but yours is listed below?
If you do, there is a chance she is not aware. If the Amazon payment does not go through, Amazon ‘s system automatically goes back and charges another payment option. It will then continue to use that payment for future charges. You might double-check before blaming your mother.
If she did do it and didn’t tell you, you have more than a right to be upset.
no you’re not crazy. she’s testing her limits with you. hold her accountable, otherwise you will find her pulling the veil over your eyes often.
I don’t know what your and your mom’s financial understanding is, but it seems pretty gross to me that your mom is spending your money without asking (or at the very least telling) you about it. It’s also gross that she’s borrowing money from you and not paying it back. Nevertheless, if you want to continue paying part of the bills, etc., there are three things you need to do:
1. Come up with a written list of the bills you will contribute to, how much you’ll contribute each month, and the dates you’ll make those payments.
2. Make a contract for your mother to sign that keeps track of how much money you lend her, when you lend it, and when you expect it to be paid back. Get her to sign a promise to repay you.
3. Set up a new bank account and keep the details secret (the name of the bank/branch, the account number, cheque routing number, etc.). To pay bills or lend your mom money, you can e-transfer funds to her or pay cash. If you use cash, have her sign a receipt for it every time!
You’re clearly NTA. Your mom is a giant AH, though, for forcing you, her 18-yr-old daughter, to financially support the household, for spending your money, for not paying you back, and for being so sneaky about everything.
I assume she has access to your account?
This needs to stop. Close the account and open one she cannot access.
NTA
NTA for confronting her in a mature way