okay so I sort of needed advice and I also wanna know am I wrong in this situation? So I’m gonna summarise this my friend and I exchanged gifts as we do every year and I got her a basket full of stuff from b&m
if you’re not from the UK, it’s just a shop full of everything. I’ve got her favourite snacks some bath bombs and like hairbrush stuff like just basically so much things she would like and it all came out to £34 and she got me a jelly cat rabbit for £28 in return no complaints. I was really happy with the gift and I assume she’d be happy with hers. Then she messages me how her mum is annoyed with my gift and how I just got her random load of rubbish and how she’s never getting me anything ever again and how I got stuff the day before or the same day and its like I forgotten and all I care about is my other friends and stuff which is not true. I had many friends that I had to get stuff for and each of them I spent around £30.
I know I shouldn’t be upset at my friend even though it’s her mum, but I don’t understand why she would tell me this if she didn’t agree with it like why would you tell me your mum is really mad at me for my gift and stuff if you didn’t agree that you didn’t like my gift, do you know what I mean?
tlr: I got my friend a basket of her favourite snacks and little bits and bobs for £34 and she got me a jelly cat rabbit for £28 and her mum is annoyed saying how I don’t care about her I got stupid things while she got me a proper gift. I am really upset about this AITA
update she started talking about how my parents make loads of money, and i offered to give the stupid toy back she said no and I just gave jt to my little sister whos super happy with it
NTA. You aren’t there to get gifts for her mum, of she doesn’t like it thats her problem. You got gifts for your friend. But it’s a bit weird why she’s telling you. It makes it sound like she agrees with her mum.
NTA- your friend and her Mother sound very tiresome
NTA, but I do agree with your friend’s mother on one point: It’s time to stop exchanging gifts with her. 🙂
Message her back: “I am so sorry that my gift wasn’t up to your expectations. I promise it won’t happen again. It won’t happen again, because this is the last time you will receive anything from me.”
NTA for being upset, but if you don’t drop her as a friend, you will be the asshole to yourself.
Obviously OP is NTA and the friend is doing silly teenage drama. But I’m kind of amused by OP not being clear on whether the friend dislikes the gift.
I mean, if somebody texted me, “my mom doesn’t like the gift,” I’d be like, huh, that’s a weird thing to say, are you trying to tell me that *you* don’t like it?
But if they texted me, “my mom doesn’t like the gift, it’s a load of rubbish, I’m never getting you anything again, you don’t care about me,” I would think it’s pretty clear what they personally think about it.
Yeah it’s very strange.
Like if the friend had said ” omg when I got home my mum went on this rant about how much she hated your gift, saying it’s all rubbish, what a biach! Haha I don’t care what she says”
That’s would be different and maybe acceptable to tell OP.
But the fact she is saying she is never going to get her gifts again, shows she was using her mums opinion as a sort of scapegoat.
this is the original message
im saying it here so she dont see, she wasnt very happy because like we got you a £28 jelly cat and you got random things, im obviously grateful and stuff but shes a bit annoyed, she said how like she wont bother next year or for yout birthday n stuff, but thank you xx
we haven’t gone out in ages, seen each other ect, so tbh i dont blame her for saying any of that, she didnt even mean it in a rude way, i mean this in the nicest way, i gave you one expensive gift that my mum waited around go get, you got me loads of little bits that came to £30, and im not being rude, your parents both work and make good money, my mum makes like half of that maybe even less, so to her £28 is a lot to be spending on someone who i barely anymore, and we both know your busy but we made a plan to both get jelly cats, and im not saying you didnt like think about wgat to get me because tou did, ik it wasnt in stock and thats fine, but can we just move on?
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shes constantly mad im busy and this is her issue not her mums obvs i have a feeling shes using her mums opinion to sort of emotionally manipulate me) but its not my fault im busy i have dance lessons, tuition, vocal lessons, auditions and i have never any free time.
also yes we both agreed on a jelly cat but the one she wanted was out of stock snd she just told me to get whatever which i wnt above and beyond for
NTA, though I had to look up jelly cat rabbit and now I’m weirdly disappointed.
NTA
NTA. I’m confused as to why the mum has anything to do with it in the first place? That is outright bizarre and yeah your friend should have kept her mums opinion to herself.
NTA. This would make me so cross. And why should you not be upset with her? She thoughtlessly repeated to you all the mean things her mother said.
Tell her that you spent more time, money and effort on her gift than on anyone else’s and that you’re sorry she (and her mom) think it’s a heap of junk. Tell her you’ll give her the receipt so that she can return everything and get a refund, and choose something more to her taste.
And then put some distance between the two of you. She doesn’t sound like a great friend.
NTA
What’s with your friend playing the ventriloquist dummy for her mother?
Her mum is a snob.
I have been in this exact situation with my daughter when she was at school. She spent her own money on stuff for this other kid she was friends with and the friend was happy until she took it home and her mum said it was all just rubbish and returned it the next day. My poor daughter was heartbroken.
Get them out of your life, you dont need people like that.