A couple weeks ago I had gone to the mall and bought some things from Victoria’s Secret, one of the items being a nice bra and also a really nice piece of clothing. The next day my sister came by to stay for a couple days. Before she arrived I had that bra and piece of clothing in my room sitting out on my clothing basket to be washed after trying on.
Well my sister said she needed to go change into pj’s so she went into my room got changed and came out. About an hour later we got to talking about clothes and so I wanted to show her some of the new stuff I got but when doing so I wasn’t able to find 2 of the things out of what I bought the day before. So I’m searching my room and she even begins to help me look for it. Eventually I decided to give up bc I wasn’t finding it and had other things to do yet.
So then later on that night my sister said she needed to run to the store quick so she left and me being the curious person that I am, I decided to just check and see if maybe she had accidentally took those things and put it in her bag. So without actually looking I just opened the bag enough to where my hand would fit and I started feeling around to see if I could feel the material of the missing items, which I did in fact find. They were stuffed down at the very bottom of her bag, however the clothes she had just changed out of were still sitting on the top of her bag. So that leads me to think that maybe she took it purposely instead. So I pulled the 2 items out and closed the bag like she had it and didn’t confront her, the very next day I woke up and went to the mall first thing and back to the same store and purchased the 2 same identical items she took from me and then went back home and when she got up I had said "hey I ran to the mall to get something I forgot and figured id get you something as well" and I handed her those 2 items but new with tags obviously since I just purchased them that day and handed it to her. The look on her face was honestly priceless bc I don’t think that she realized i knew she took my stuff yet and that I had actually already took it back from her because when she saw the things I handed her, her entire personality changed and she got real quiet. In fact she didn’t say much the rest of the time she was staying. She also never said anything about taking my stuff either but I still to this day never told her I found my stuff in her bag. So what’s yall’s thoughts on this AITA for searching to see if she stole from me when she had left to run to the store? Or also for the fact of going out to buy her her own stuff to have so that maybe she doesn’t steal again? And should I just keep this all "swept" under the rug like it never happened since I took it upon myself to just give her what she took instead? I just don’t want this to happen again in the future and would be glad to give her something if she just asked.
So you rewarded her stealing from you by going out and buying brand new identical items and fiving to her. Boy, you really showed her! Rewarding bad behaviour is definitely the way to stop it. 👍
You forgot YTA
This ^ OP that’ll come back to bite you when she inevitably does it again and you do the same thing. YTA for rewarding bad behavior
This was masterful shaming by OP. NTA
Youre NTA, just clueless.
Why would you give her the stuff she tried to steal from you. I don’t understand? I would have looked and took the stuff back but then not let her in my house again because she steals and is supposed to be a sister! I don’t your an arsehole and I think she is for stealing from you but WTF were you buying and giving her the stuff that she tried to steal?
Im completely baffled. VS is expensive af too. Steal my expensive stuff, oh let me just go buy some for the thief and quietly take mine back instead! Lovely! Since she deserves it and all.
NTA but I’m pretty sure she knows that you know (I mean, the stuff she took was no longer in her bag). I’m not sure what point you were trying to prove by buying her the same stuff she took from you. If it was just to say “hey, I know you took from me”, ok; but I won’t know how effective that message will be.
The problem is that trust has been broken and you haven’t done anything to repair that trust.
And the conversation doesn’t need to be accusatory. Just tell her how much taking your things hurt you. Tell her you thought you had a better relationship than that. Tell her you gave her an opportunity to come clean even after she knew you knew. Ask her how you’re supposed to move forward knowing you can’t trust her.
This is weird. I would’ve just taken them back out of her bag and left it at that. What is she going to do? Accuse you of stealing your own stuff? She would’ve noticed they were gone and felt stupid that you obviously caught her. No other action needed.
I am gonna disagree with most here and say that I think it was a boss move. You called her out with kindness and allowed the two of you to avoid a blowup. She will feel shame perhaps, which is a good deterrent, and also feel the sisterly care behind your gesture.
How she responds in future is down to her character. Families are complex with so much unconscious stuff going on. If she can take this as an act of forgiveness but also recognition when seen being bad to you, it could work out ok long run.
It’s great. This is the whole premise of Les Miserables – that the kindness of being gifted something you were trying to steal is enough to change the trajectory of someone’s life.
NTA – pretty clever in my estimation, you took the carpet out from under her then opened the trap door. You have total power over this, she probably wrestled with you being omniscient or not. Any time around you I bet she looks over her shoulder frequently
NTA and you are my favourite redditor today. This was such a ovarian power move, its actually a Biblical principle – heaping burning coals! Masterful mindfuckery.
Proverbs 25:21-22!
“If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.”