I (18M) just turned 18 last month. I’ve wanted a tattoo for years now – nothing crazy, just a small compass on my forearm that means something to me. My older brother moved abroad for work two years ago and we used to be really close. The compass is kind of a reminder that no matter where we are, we’re still connected. Sounds cheesy, I know, but it matters to me.
Anyway, I’ve been saving up from my part-time job at Tesco and finally had enough. I didn’t tell my parents beforehand because I knew they’d try to talk me out of it, and legally I don’t need their permission anymore. I’m an adult. So I booked an appointment, went with my mate, and got it done last Saturday.
I kept it covered for a few days but yesterday my mum saw it when I was reaching for something in the kitchen and my sleeve rode up. She absolutely lost it. Started going on about how I’ve ruined my skin permanently, how no decent employer will hire me, how disrespectful it was to do this behind their backs. My dad joined in saying I’m still living under their roof so I should respect their values, and that just because I’m legally an adult doesn’t mean I’m mature enough to make these decisions.
I tried explaining what it meant to me, about the connection to my brother, but they weren’t having it. My mum actually got quite emotional and said I’ve "changed" and they don’t recognize me anymore, which honestly felt a bit over the top for a tattoo that’s barely 2 inches wide.
We haven’t really spoken properly since. The atmosphere at home is awful. My younger sister (15) says I should’ve at least told them beforehand even if I was going to do it anyway, and that springing it on them was a bit of a dick move. But my mates all think my parents are being dramatic and controlling.
I feel bad that they’re upset, but I also think I have the right to make my own choices about my body now that I’m legally an adult. I wasn’t trying to disrespect them, I just knew they’d never agree and I didn’t want the fight beforehand.
So Reddit, AITA?
NTA! I got my first tatto at 18. My mom freaked out but got over it. Now I have a lot more and so do my siblings. Our mom has gotten over it and can now appreciate them.
NTA
I did the same thing at 18 haha.
They were mad but couldn’t really do anything about it so end of story.
NTA. It’s your body, not theirs. Tell them you can wear a long sleeved shirt to any job interview and you’re an adult who paid for the tattoo yourself
>I (18M) just turned 18 last month
You’re legally an adult, and have agency over your life. If you want to tattoo your body, you don’t need permission from your parents.
>She absolutely lost it. Started going on about..
That’s her opinion, but it’s your body.
NTA
So tell your mother – I’m in a high level position in a very large IT firm, make a very nice salary, and own my own home outright (no mortgage). EVERYONE I work with, to include my manager, has tattoos. I’m the only one who doesn’t and the only reason is I have zero pain threshold and don’t do needles. People making $170k+ have tattoos. This isn’t 1980 anymore. NTA…however, depending on how serious your parents are about this, you could be TA to yourself if they cut off support.
NTA. It’s your body, not theirs. And you’re an adult.
Signed, an employed person with a tattoo.
NTA. Telling them ahead of time wouldn’t have helped. Waiting until you’d moved out wouldn’t have helped.
Also, in case you’re worried – most employers do not care about tattoos any more. I’ve been working in banks for years and lots of people have tattoos.
Going to advise you from a couple of places. First as a mom. Your body, your choice. A couple of my kids got tattoos shortly after turning 18. They are adults and can do with their bodies as they please. Your mom needs to realize this for you. Second, I am an entrepreneur owning 3 successful businesses. I do not read anything into applicants with tattoos. It is simply self expression and I respect the hell out of that. I am tattooed myself. Self expression should say to an employer that you are not afraid to speak up. That’s a great quality as long as it’s respectful. Your mom is forcing her pre conceived ideas onto your life when the reality of the current business climate is, nobody cares about tattoos anymore. I go to huge conferences and many of my fellow executives, male and female, have tattoos. It’s no big deal. Live your life for you. Tell your mom that while you love her dearly and understand that tattoos aren’t her thing, she needs to respect that they are yours. It’s not hurting anyone and that should be her focus. Best of luck to you!
They probably wanted you to go undercover at MI5, and now you can’t. Or, if they don’t want you to be an undercover agent, you can tell them they don’t have to worry about it now?
NTA
While maybe a heads up would have been good, you are an adult. It was your money. Your body.
Also the thinking that tattoos mean you won’t get hired is a bit outdated. While there are still some professions that frown on them, most places now do not care.
It’s small, easily hidden if necessary. It’s not like you went and got 6 inches of your face tattooed or something.
NTA
Did the same 18 and had it set by hells angels to make matters worse /rebellious and added 2 piercings – parents TOTALLY flipped out obviously about EVERYTHING! I was however besides that a very wild wild one – I was disowned multiple times over those becoming an adult years. But the aggro faded. From both our sides…. And oddly over decades we now laugh about these things and my mum (as my dad is dead now) has become my best friend and 80+ wants matching tattoos.
Your body your choice.
Your parents are being just that, it’s hard to realise you are indeed now an adult and don’t need their permission – that’s a tough gig! And it’s a big shocker to them.
You are finding your adult feet and often with many parent / child relationships there is going to be friction while you do so; it’s part of growing up for you and them. It’s difficult for everyone – especially while you’re still living at home. Mostly with time the aggro passes – so give it time, try and see why they flipped out (regardless) and be happy with what sounds like a lovely tatt.
BTW I didn’t ruin my life or job opportunities – I’ve done more than OK objectively speaking
NTA
Nta
Like you said you’re an adult. You made this choice of sound mind, with your own money. It’s ultimately their decision on how they react.
If you want to make a light-hearted joke, you can joke that you’re a little safer now than before. If anything were to happen to you or you went missing, having a visible tattoo is a great way to identify someone
NTA, your body, your choice.