I (24F) live with my roommate (25F). We are both 50/50 on the lease, and cats are allowed on the property according to the landlord. She has always wanted a cat. I have severe allergies to cats and told her from the start that I couldn’t live with one before we signed the lease. She kept insisting it would be fine, that I could deal with it, and that it was her right to have a pet. I even offered compromises like a small pet that wouldn’t trigger my allergies, but she ignored me.
Last week she brought home a kitten. No warning, no discussion, just put it in the apartment. My eyes swelled up, I was sneezing constantly, and breathing became difficult. I asked her to take the cat back or find another solution, but she refused. She said I was being dramatic and controlling.
After a few nights of waking up covered in hives, and barely being able to breath every day, and barely being able to sleep, I felt like I was on the I couldn’t handle it anymore. At this point I had told her multiple times that she needs to take the cat back. While she was at work, I took the cat to a local shelter. I left a note explaining that because of my allergies and health, the cat couldn’t stay in our home and that I had no choice.
Edit: I want to clarify that I confirmed the shelter was no kill and the kitten would get re-adopted, and the note I left was for my roommate
When she got home she completely lost it. She yelled at me, called me heartless, and accused me of betraying her trust. I tried to explain that I wasn’t trying to hurt her, I just couldn’t live in a home that made me physically sick. She is still furious and says she will never forgive me. I’m currently looking to move out when the lease ends.
ESH
YOU are on the lease!! You could have involved the landlord! You had so many options and instead you chose to take the cat and give it to a shelter??? Omg, you are a very bad person. Your roommate sucks too, but you….
NTA and these comments are wild. I guess some of you all wouldn’t happy until she died from her allergies because some thing absolutely require extreme action
ESH
Holy shit.
She absolutely screwed up, she was absolutely an asshole.
HOWEVER, that is not your cat!
Alert the landlord! Move out! Demand she move out! Get a friend of hers to watch the cat!
That cat is now sitting in a shelter that is likely overcrowded already, when it already had an owner that loved it.
You are both selfish assholes, and that cat is an innocent victim.
Get the fucking cat back, and move out, or get her to move out.
Jesus Christ
YTA. Lets ignore the pet being a living being for the moment. You stole amd discarded someone else’s property, and now you have to ask if you might have done something wrong?
You stole and got rid her property, without her permission. Its not any different than if you had stolen and sold her Playstation, laptop,clothes, whatever, because you didn’t like them and she annoyed you with them.
You always have an option. Moving out, for one, which you have to do anyway due to the fallout of this.
NTA. I would have done the same if I couldn’t find the original place she got the cat. I would probably also let the landlord know she brought in a cat and you’re allergic. Mention that if she brings in another, you’d have to have them step in to have it removed.
The landlord wants nothing to do with adjudicating roommate drama, if it doesn’t involve illegal activity or damage to the unit. This is one you’ve got to sort out yourselves.
Solidly ESH. As someone who’s allergic to cats, I empathize with you and it sucks that they got a cat without telling you and despite your allergies. However, it sounds like you just got rid of the cat without giving your roommate any warning. If you did, that is an AH move.
Both of you are TA, her first obviously for bringing home a pet that you made clear you’re very allergic to but you for catnapping her kitten and dropping it off at a shelter without her knowledge, the two of you don’t need to live together and she needs to learn how to consider others needs above her wants, being so inconsiderate of the other person in your home is wild
NTA breathing is essential. The allergies would have gotten worse. I am allergic I was visiting a relative in assisted living and she reclines her recliner and I felt my trachea clamp down . I knew death was coming
I had 2 different inhalers on me and used them at the nurses station. And repeated. Took more Benadryl. A little kitten is easy to re-home compared to a full grown cat.
.
In some jurisdictions, leaving it outside the door without turning it over to an actual person is illegal. You also stole the cat from your roommate. You might be catching charges.
Would the shelter have accepted the kitten if you’d told them you’d stolen it? You left that part out.
Yes, your roommate is an asshole but perhaps the two of you could’ve found someone to foster the kitten.
For future reference, Purina makes a cat food, Clear Life, I believe, that neutralizes the allergen in cats’ saliva. It’s been very successful according to a lot of commenters in the cat subs.
INFO: You knew she wanted a cat and didn’t take your allergy seriously. Why did you sign a lease with someone who doesn’t care about your well-being?
ESH
It was wrong od your roommate to get the car after your multiple attempts to explain why you couldn’t be in a space with cats.
It was just wrong of you to take the cat with zero warning to your roommate to the shelter. It doesn’t matter that it guarantees that it will be rehomed.
ESH you and your roommate should not be living together, especially if she can’t take your legitimate health concerns seriously. Removing the cat is also drastic, but you suck less since her bringing home a cat “started it”. Please find a new roommate who will actually respect your concerns and your physical health, one that you can actually communicate with.