AITA that I went to play tennis with my colleagues?
My girlfriend had sinus surgery. I’m working abroad but stayed an extra two weeks (three weeks total) to help her recover, dedicating all my time to her (no TV/PC). After coming back to work early on Sunday, I went to play tennis with colleagues on Monday for the first time. I couldn’t reach her and hour before going out, but on my way she finally replied. Then after hearing where I’m going, started ignoring my messages and sent me a huge, angry text full of harsh words before I went to bed. I felt hurt that after three weeks of dedication, she was angry about a couple of hours of personal time, when I can’t do anything to help her, as I’m abroad I tried speaking to her but only same harsh words came, (you are my biggest mistake, forget this side, don’t write me anymore etc.) AITA for ignoring her while she’s recovering and I’m abroad, or is she overreacting to me playing tennis?
You both need to dial it down massively listen you dedicated three full weeks to her recovery putting everything else aside that is huge that is the effort of a dedicated partner that is not a mistake that is a sacrifice, the second you left and went back to work your job was done you were no longer her fulltime caregiver you were back to normal life and you were entitled to two hours of tennis with colleagues her surgery and recovery are 100% valid and incredibly difficult but that pain does not give her the right to say things like you are my biggest mistake forget this side dont write me anymore that is emotionally manipulative and cruel especially when you just spent three weeks helping her. You are abroad now and literally cannot help her anyway you are supposed to go back to your normal routine and that includes personal time she cannot demand you stare at a wall just because she is recovering at home. The only tiny little mistake you made was the communication you should have texted her in the morning hey going to play tennis tonight so might be unreachable later but that is a tiny miss step not a justification for a nuclear meltdown like that. Her reaction is a massive overreaction and the harsh language is a major red flag that needs addressing when she calms down.
Thanks for another point of view.
Just to add, I only agreed to go before the end of the shift . And it’s always like those messages when she is angry, at least once a month when I’m not near her.
She can’t control her feelings when there is so much stress , pain and she doesn’t mean that , that’s her excuse.
That’s not an excuse. I say this as a woman. If you stay with her she will never take responsibility for her emotions and you will be her punching bag. Everyone has moments but if you really love the person you apologize and strive to do better. Not making excuses every time.
Break up with her ungrateful ass
NTA. just go no contact as she wants. I hope she wakes up to what she said.
NTA. Enjoy tennis. Possibly as a single person.
😂 Thanks for brightening my day