AITA for giving my grandma the gift card when she asked for it?
My grandma (who I will call "the hag" as it’s accurate) kept bothering me about “contributing” because she hates that I have a decent amount of savings (I’m trying to save up for a wheelchair, and 240$ of it was a birthday gift.), she has done the following:
Said she’d pay me back for 50$ over the course of several months, she didn’t pay me back fully for that (maybe 20-30/50) then she said that she wouldn’t pay me my “allowance” (20$ that I get for helping as much as I can and watching her dogs {hell} several times a month) until January.
So I have absolutely no way to make money, and I am actively in debt with myself at this point. (About 130$, counting the 50$ gift card, so when I get money I’m going to save as much as possible)
My grandma uses me like a bank without asking, and demands that I "lend" her money (I use air quotes because she was originally paying me back, but since then she’s stopped)
And then she started worse (whenever I gave her my “contribution” (20$) in May, even though I can’t make money beyond gifts or the discontinued 20$ a month) and I ended up giving her a 50$ gift card (she originally said she’d pay me back, but then changed her mind) someone sent me for winter clothes so she’d stop treating me like shit over it.
And then, today she demanded the card from me! I gave her the card on 11/14/25. I WROTE IT DOWN! I have a horrible memory, and yet even I can remember giving it to her! So she blows up at me, telling me that I must be mistaken, because she would remember that, but she doesn’t!
And so we search for the card, everyone is angry, I get yelled at, I insist I don’t have it: because I gave it to her! And nobody has the card! And now the hag is mad AT ME because “you shouldn’t give something to someone when they are busy!” SHE DEMANDED THAT I GIVE IT TO HER RIGHT THEN!
So I gave it to her!!
Am I the asshole for giving it to her, when she demanded it, because she was busy, and "you aren’t supposed to give things to busy people"?
INFO: How old are you? Do you live with your grandma? Where are your parents?
Hmmmmmmm NTA. I advise you to go to the old hag store and ask how they should be recycled.
You say that like she’s a handbag lol 😂
Nah because “you shouldn’t hand things to people when they’re busy” after she demanded you give it to her is WILD
I’m glad someone agrees!
From the way this story is written you seem like an unreliable narrator. No info given about yourself or your situation. YTA
I replied to another comments with stuff about me, and a bit on the situation, but I haven’t done one of these before but I realize that I should have done that when I made the post 😅
Thanks for the advice though! I’ll keep it in mind if I do this again
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I didn’t write this when I was emotional, just when I was really hung up on her getting mad at me for handing her something when she was busy, and so I tried to add context (I think I went wrong, somewhere reading back) I think I’m in the right, but the keyword here is think. I recognize that I’m biased, but I also think that it’s her fault, since she lost it after I handed it off.
NTA. This gift card thing is not even worth litigating. If you gave it to her, she lost it, that’s on her.
I’m not understanding enough about your living situation to give advice on that, but unless grandma is spending that money to keep you both fed and housed, I’m thinking you need to stop loaning her anything. Cultivate silence around any money you have, and don’t part with it. Good luck, and I hope you can find a new income source.
She is spending money to pay bills, but I got us qualified for foodstamps so we have that, and our old house is paid off.
I hope I can find one soon too! The problem is that I can’t really work (disabled, but not medically recognized yet)