im 17 female I have a bad relationship with my family n no real friends. my niece and nephew were forced to move into my room since my sister is an abusive mother. yeah I feel bad for them but honestly everyday they give me reasons to hate them and I want them to go back to their mother. im a very lonely person and my only space to feel comfortable being gone with no warning because no one gives a fuck about how I feel is quickly shaving away my paitience, n I’m constantly being told by my family that I have anger issues since I end up yelling at them all the time n at first i knew it was because my family purposely do things to bother me n the kids are really dumb I’ve never met such idiotic lack of common sense kids in my life who refuse to listen to anything. so I’m constantly being made the bad guy i would step back n try to take a breather but since I have nothing to retreat to I can feel my anger rising with everyone around me especially the kids because a dumbass kid irritates everyone. should I feel bad for not wanting them around anymore despite their situation.
Uhm…. You do seem to have anger issues.
I can’t call you an AH because this situation sucks, but you should have a small amount of empathy for what they’re going through.
Good news is you’ll be 18 within a year, so you can move out.
Yeah, YTA. I don’t think I even need to say why.
Punctuation, for one. And everything else.
ESH , you shouldn’t be getting treated the way you are. And you shouldn’t take it out on kids that already have it rougher than you.
ESH. Your room shouldn’t have been taken from you without your permission. Your family should’ve respected your space. But you are TA for taking your anger out on innocent kids. Knowing that none of this is their fault. I can’t even imagine how frustrating it would feel. But please remember that these are little kids who’ve been abused. You should seek help.
I’m torn between ESH or something else, because I understand your frustration, it was your safe space, the only one apparently and it being invaded like this must be truly awful, but, although I sympathize with you, your anger is misplaced in a 9 and 7 yo abused kids.
They may be irritating, annoying and lack common sense, but their mother was abusive, and she was supposed to teach them better and she did not, that is not their fault, they are victims of their situation, just like you are.
You said you are lonely, but I would encourage you to find help lines for someone to talk to, or setting your room with curtains or dividers to have a little bit more privacy, set better boundaries in the calmest way you are able, yelling with them won’t help.
Good luck op, really sorry about all of this
It sounds like your family might be right about the anger issues, because it kinda sounds like you don’t even hate your niece and nephew despite the title. You admit you feel bad for them, and by the end your question is something completely different than what you asked in the first place.
YWBTA if you really did hate these kids for a situation you admit you feel bad for them being stuck in, even if they’re annoying. They’re young enough, and the age gap is wide enough, that of course they’re gonna annoy you. You went from not being around them all the time to being around them all the time. It does suck for you. (You really did yourself no favors on this one by talking a bunch of generalized shit about them rather than giving a few examples of what makes them *such idiotic lack of common sense kids*, but the lack of specifics is also why I don’t think you hate those kids and are just extremely angry right now.)
NTA just for not wanting them around anymore because they’re annoying. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
YTA. Wishing that children go back to their abusive mother is just beyond cruel.
Idk the parents who raised the abusive mother are now forcing their teenage daughter to share a bedroom with two traumatized children. Honestly I would be willing to bet money that OPs parents are also abusive.
YTA
These kids have lost their mom. They had their lives turned upside down. They have been abused. They have to live with someone who hates them. You sound like you need empathy.
YTA through and through for taking your anger out on kids who have no agency.
Kids are dumb.[reductive] All of them. They are learning and experiencing so many things for the first time in their lives. Their brains are still developing. Expecting “common sense” from someone who hasnt even been alive for a decade makes YOU the one with a *real idiotic lack of common sense.*
You are not the only one in this crappy situation, and it is crappy and I do feel bad for you. But what about these kids who have to share a room with ***you***. I bet they feel extremely unsafe and uncomfortable around you.
Consider that your volatile behavior may be the biggest contributor to all their little accidents. Sounds like they’ve hopped from one abusive situation to another. It doesn’t have to be physical to still be considered abuse.
Please try not to give them even more trauma just because you’re having a rough go
YTA the kids didn’t ask to live with you.. they just had to bc their mother is abusive. Your parents are doing the best the can with the space they have in this crappy situation.
YTA for being abusive to kids (yes, openly hating kids for no faults of them is abusive) and I hope you get therapy cause the way you are now, you will repeat your sister path in life.
YTA, we are never justified to take our anger out on people, unless we’re fighting back an abuser.
Get some support and learn how to regulate your emotions. You can feel that they overflow when you’re tense and on edge, so you already know what the problem is. Therapists, counsellors, and social workers will be able to help you learn some valuable emotional tools. You’ll need these in life anyway, so might as well learn now.