I(16f) argued last night with my dad(50s) and I’m not sure if I was in the wrong. The thing about my father is that he’s really lazy, he’ll take any and every opportunity to make me, my siblings or mom do something so he doesn’t have to. Him and I are the only ones who drink water during meals(I just don’t like juices and he has to take medication), so he has made it a habit to occasionally take the glass of water I pour myself. I mostly don’t see it as a problem and we laugh it off, I just go and pour myself another glass. For context, I never drink or eat anything another person does before me, I’m just grossed out by it. Yesterday I poured myself a glass of water and while I was sitting down at the table, I asked him if he wanted a glass(since I saw his medication on the table). He ignored me a total of four times(he had his head down and was watching something on his phone), after that I just gave up and sat down. As I started to eat, he drank from my glass once again, I got mad at him and went to pour myself another glass. I sat down and my mom asked me why I was mad, I said I asked him if he wanted a glass of water multiple times and he ignored me. Then he proceeded to drink water from the new glass I poured myself, he started yelling about me ‘holding a grudge over something small. I just ate my food super fast and went to the kitchen to pour myself another glass and drink it there. He told me I can’t use my phone until I apologize. I wanted my phone an hour later and muttered a sorry to get it back. I’m wondering did I actually overreact because he does this so often, or was I in the right to react the way I did?
INFO: I think it’s important to mention what “I got mad at him” means. Are we talking about some sulking or?
Because if it was trivial, your dad was clearly provoking you, with the second glass and all, so it wasn’t fair from him to demand an apology.
I rolled my eyes and glared at him, nothing major I didn’t yell, I just didn’t know how to word it.
NTA you’re a teenager. This is the kindest crash out ever
NTA and also not blaming you, but why not set your glass of water, or sit someplace, where your father can’t easily grab your glass of water?
You know it is going to happen if your water is within in his reach. And if he is as lazy as you say, he isn’t going to get up and walk over to where your glass is to grab it.
NTA, you asked and he didn’t answer and then took yours. As a parent, I consider eye rolling and glaring not punishable teenager offenses. I am pretty sure it was a quick glare and 1 eye roll, typical teenage stuff.
NTA. You literally offered to get him water, he ignored you, then took yours twice. That’s disrespectful and honestly gross
I’m so sorry this person has a hand in raising you, or thinks he does, anyway, because he sounds incredibly difficult to live with. When I began reading your post, my first thought was that my children would probably consider me lazy because I always asked them to fill my water cup or bring me something from the kitchen, etc., but your dad takes it a step further and seems to be quite a schmuck. You couldn’t be less of an asshole in this scenario. I imagine living with someone like him gets quite exhausting.
NTA he is on some weird type of power trip
When you say you got mad, do you mean you yelled out or made comments to him? If so the only apology you owe is an “I am sorry for calling you an annoying idiot”.
Otherwise dad owes you an apology for being petty and drinking your second glass out of spite.
That was childish move that should not be coming out of an adult. Not to mention the childish behavior of ignoring your offer of getting him a glass. Dad needs some deep internal reflection on maturity, and honestly mom should have called him out on his immature behavior when he took your second glass. Intentionally harming the feelings of your child and then demanding an apology is a form of abuse and mom needs to stick up for her children.
NTA – your dad sounds like an entitled prick.
NTA. Your dad sounds super annoying. You don’t owe him a glass of water, but you might want to always just bring 2 glasses of water to the table to avoid his nonsense. You shouldn’t have to do that, but you’re stuck living with him for a few more years, so that might be the easiest thing to do.
NTA
Next time just put a glass down for him. If he takes a drink of yours instead, use the one you put out for him.
Your dad is behaving like a poor mannered teenage boy. Sadly he has the “authority” to dictate punishment for his shit behavior.
NTA. Some advice though. Don’t be so kind to “ask” if he wants water. Next time just sit down, pour him a glass of water and one for yourself. You’re tricking him into respecting your boundary and you’re still being kind. Good job.