I work part-time at a small restaurant. I usually work weekends, and my manager is pretty strict about scheduling because we’re understaffed lol.
last saturday, about an hour or so before my shift, my coworker texted me asking if I could cover her shift that night. She said her mom had to go to the ER and she needed to be with her. (I understand that thats very serious and i do feel bad and hope shes better)
My problem is that I had already told my family I’d be going to my cousin’s birthday dinner that night. It wasn’t anything huge but it was planned for weeks and I was the only one who was supposed to drive my younger siblings there. If I didn’t go, the thing would’ve fallen apart.
I explained this to Anna and apologized, saying I couldn’t cover. She didn’t respond until later, she sent a message saying, “Wow. I wouldve helped you if it were me.” I felt guilty, but I still didn’t go.
Anna ended up calling out, and someone else had to come in to cover. Since then, Anna has been pretty weird toward me at work. She’s not rude, but she doesn’t talk to me, and I can tell she’s upset.
I completely understand why she was stressed and emotional, and I don’t blame her for being upset about the situation. At the same time, I feel like it wasn’t fair to expect me to drop my own responsibilities with almost no notice. But what do you guys think?
NTA – An hours notice isnt much notice. Her trying to guilt you into doing it isnt fair. Its not your responsibility the restaurant is understaffed, its management.
NTA – her upset is understandable but misplaced. i’m of the mindset that work will always be there so it’s not that serious (but i’m glad she was able to call out)
NTA. You’re not obligated to take a shift that was not assigned to you. End of story. Her emergency is unfortunate, but not your responsibility to fix.
NAH.
You were very well within your rights to politely decline to cover but she is also well within her rights to feel some kind of way about it and treat you differently afterwards. No one is an asshole here.
NAH. You were free to say no. She is free to decide you are not her cup of tea.
NTA. It’s the manager’s job to cover.
NTA,
20 years ago I was a waitress and back then it was fairly common not to ask somebody to work a double shift for you.
The way you tell the story it sounds like you were getting ready to work a day shift and had plans at night to see family. She asked you to cover her night shift.
That’s a big ask no matter what! That’s a long day and a lot of work.
**If she had an emergency she should have called the manager right away and told him to find somebody.**
Yes, under normal circumstances a restaurant manager makes you find your own coverage. But with a family member in the ER she should have just called him and said she couldn’t make it. He then could have called around to find somebody. He sure as heck wouldn’t have called you to do a double.
NTA. You had a prior family commitment and someone else covered her shift.
NTA. Anna’s shift was covered and, yes, people do plan things like you did where others rely on them. Remember that you don’t need to give anyone an explanation for saying “no”. You don’t need to tell Anna your reason so that she judges you. An “I am sorry but I have plans that are impossible to cancel,” if even that is enough.
She’s trying to guilt trip you. Don’t let her.
NTA.
But, in the future, don’t explain *why* you can’t, just *that* you can’t, if they ask for a why you can just say personal/family matters and leave it at that.
Example: “Hey can you cover my shift?” No, sorry. “Why not?” It’s a personal matter.
If they keep pushing, you stop responding and/or go to your manager, it’s on them to find coverage, not you.
I can’t is a complete sentence. It was not on you to change your own schedule, it was on the managers. Personally, I loathe the way restaurant managers in particular make it the employees responsibility to schedule when in actuality, it is their job. Let her be weird. I hope her mom is okay but her treating you funny is not your problem. NTA
NTA. I’ve done my time in the service industry to the point where if I can’t make my shift I don’t search for coverage I just call management. I don’t have time for it. I also don’t expect others to cover my shift. The hospitality industry is the only group of employees who feel that there a “group responsibility” for picking up shifts. It’s so annoying.
Next time don’t explain what your plans are. You tell them you can’t because you have plans that you can’t cancel. Some people like judging if they think your plans are cancellable.
NTA. But you dont have to give people all the details. You could have just said “I’m really sorry but I have a commitment I cant back out of”. Simple and if asked for additional info, just say “Sorry, its a private matter”. Then STOP worrying about it. Who cares if she’s mad at you. Just ignore it.