I am getting married in May. My dad’s side of the family is very messy, lots of drama – something to complain about at every event and a lot of generation toxicity. Despite this, the kids (us cousins) are nothing like our parents and get along very well. My dilema is I would like to invite my cousin but not his parents. They have a long history of abuse with my mother and have repeatedly disrespected my family and my future wife at events. I do not want this energy at my wedding and I believe it is valid. Can I still invite their son who has done nothing wrong and has his own complicated relationship with his toxic parents? I know there will be backlash from the family regardless, but I need to know AITA?
Is your cousin an adult? If yes, invite away! If no, that complicate his home life.
Man, this also sounds quite a bit like my dad’s family. In my opinion, you’re not the asshole if you invite your cousin only. It’s your wedding, you get to choose who goes. If I got married, I would be inclined to do the same thing.
You wouldn’t be the asshole but definitely ask yourself if you want to deal with the drama of not inviting them.
I think i’m more scared of the drama of inviting him. Maybe there is my answer
NTA, but know you will have a headache either way. Either you invite them and have a headache on the day, or don’t invite them and have a headache prior to the event. Which headache will be bigger? Who’s to say?
NTA. Your wedding, your guest list. However, you might ask your cousin on the side if he prefers to be invited or not invited, depending on the amount of crap his parents may dump on him.
NTA, definitely, for not inviting anyone you don’t want at your wedding.
What are the odds, though, of your father/parents “inviting” them anyway?
Don’t discuss the guest list with anyone but your fiancee. No one else should get a vote in your and your fiancee’s decisions. It’s good practice for when you’re married.
NTA
It’s your wedding, both you and your partner are allowed to invite/not invite whoever you want for your special day!
NTA. Go for it.
Invite who you want at your wedding. Don’t feel the need to tell they’re not invited, just don’t. If you and your cousin are close, invite them.
NTA invite who you want, exclude your cousin‘s parents if that’s what you want. If they get upset about it, tell them you would have loved to invite them, but you can’t have anyone there who disrespected your wife.
I invited my cousins but not my toxic aunt who had made her feelings about me very clear. I thought about it and decided that I didn’t want anyone who didn’t like me at my wedding. And that’s what I told my Dad when he had something to say about it. He threatened not to come and I told him that was his choice. He ended up coming.
you wouldn’t have a cousin if his parents didn’t have them. you can invite whoever you like.