For context, I (44M) and my wife (36F) Have two kids, a daughter (13F) and a son (16M) and our son is getting to the age where he just lies all day and goes agaisnt everything me and his mother say, (and before you say something about this, i know thats just how teenagers are) And yesterday, I came home from work, and he was playing his music very loudly, and i was just trying relax and loosen up after a tough day. (i just got a new manager and things have been very difficult at work recently) so I went to grab a beer and zone it out, but when I entered the kitchen I saw the dishes from last night in the sink and the trash overflowing, which I politely asked him to take out. He has a history of completely ignoring his household duties, going out when he wants too without telling anyone and it was just all building up. So I snapped, walked over to his room, turned off the music (which I paid for.) told him to get off the damn game and do the dishes. He tried to say he was doing homework, but i saw right through it. I told him to either get off the game and do the dishes or leave. He cursed at me, and the ruckus caused his mother to come over, who he cursed out aswell. I told him not to curse at a man in his own house, and told him to apologize to me. He refused, and i told him to get out. he didn’t believe I was serious until I started going through his wardrobe and throwing his clothes onto the floor and telling him to pack them up. He asked me where he was supposed to go, and I told him I didn’t care and since he thought he was the man of the house.
Last night before bed, my wife said I might have been too harsh, and I told her if he wants to act like a man then I will treat him like a man. AITA?
YTA. And potentially even a criminal for kicking out a minor. Could face child endangerment and abandonment charges.
YTA and you’re abusive. Your son is going through being a teenager. You can work on the behavior. But this “man in his own house” power struggle is not a good look. Your job as a parent is to care for your kid AT LEAST until they turn 18.
Gosh, I wonder where he gets his anger issues and lack of respect… YTA.
Yes, YTA…a huge asshole.
You cannot kick out your minor child.
Refusing to do chores is no reason to make someone homeless. I would suggest parenting classes, but I think you’d just let them pile up in the sink. It’s past time you needed them.
Find your child.
This has to be ragebait.
YTA!!! He is your child! For fucks sake how can you actually write this and not see you’re an asshole?!?
YTA
You “snapped”? Why not set a better example for your son and use your calm and reason like a real man
YTA: He’s a 16-year-old kid who is acting his age. You are an adult who has a responsibility of care for a child and you just made him homeless. I sincerly hope he contacts the authorities and asks for help and I can only wish for you the retirement home he picks.
We will see you and your wife back here in a couple years crying about how your kid no longer speaks to you.
YTA. Legally he is a minor. Depending on where you live, you could be looking at Child Abandonment or endangerment charges. Get him to come back pronto and hope his mates don’t tell him to call the cops on your ass. If he decides he doesn’t want to come back, he can also seek emancipation in some countries and you could end up on the hook for child support until he is no longer a minor.
YTA. Didn’t need to read anything more than the title to decide that.
You need parenting classes if the only way you can think of to address his behavior is to kick him out.
YTA. What about cutting of his wifi or smth until he does his chores? Or anything similar, there must be other ways
YTA without question – for the simple reason that this is child abandonment and abuse. A 16yo is going to be an absolute pain in the ass at times. Maybe even all the time. But you CANNOT kick them out. Period. I hope someone calls the authorities and gets your kid somewhere safe.
YTA. You are talking about acting like a adult. Well maybe you should lead by example.
You need help
You have just committed child abuse. So, yes, you are TA. I hope Children’s Protective Services knocks on your door with the police and an arrest warrant.
You could try family counseling, since it seems none of you have decent communication skills or emotional regulation skills.