I’m a first year student and got put into a group of four for a presentation. We had a meeting scheduled at the library.
I showed up with notes and a rough outline. The other three came empty handed. One said they were tired. Another said we could “figure it out together.”
After 20 minutes of scrolling and side conversations, I asked if anyone had even skimmed the assignment. No one had.
I said I was going home and would do my part solo. They looked shocked and said I was making it harder for everyone.
Now I’m being told I’m not a team player. I feel like I just didn’t want to waste time. AITA?
NTA. Group projects are the fucking worst if you’re one of the few people who actually takes the work seriously.
Yeah, that’s exactly it. I don’t mind group work in theory, it just sucks when it turns into one or two people caring and everyone else coasting.
Like if you need designated time to work on the project, I get that. But I feel like there was a miscommunication about the nature of the meeting.
It seems like they took it as “time to work on the project, i.e. start it.” And you took it as “putting our individual pieces together.” Neither was a wrong interpretation. You just need to tell them you’re ahead of the rest of them in the project and your group and reconvene after the others have their parts to share.
YNTA You’re all overworked and tired. You can still work together tho
I get what you’re saying, and that’s fair. I think the disconnect was that we’d talked beforehand about at least reading the assignment and coming with some ideas, so I assumed we’d be able to actually start doing something. When it turned out no one had even looked at it, it felt like we weren’t on the same page at all. I’m still open to working together, I just didn’t want that meeting to turn into wasted time.
ESH.
Look the shitty truth is that part of the challenge of a group project is corralling the people you are assigned to be with.
I wouldn’t bail on them. I’d divide the work so that it’s clear what component each person is responsible for. Break the presentation into 4 equal parts, or the written component into 4 sections, and only focus on yours, and assume the rest of the group will do theirs.
Show up to meetings. Be prepared. But carry your own weight and not theirs. Speak to your professor and let them know you have concerns about your group, and what your approach has been.
Seceding from the group isn’t a good look on you, either.
INFO:
What was the expectation for this first meeting?
Was it “we’re going to get started”, “get the work done and bring it to the meeting”, or something else?
It was meant to be a working meeting where we at least got started. We’d all agreed beforehand to read the assignment and come with some ideas so we weren’t going in blind, but that clearly didn’t happen.
NTA. Has the teacher or the school taught projects or leadership? I’m likely to think not. Everyone assumes that leadership is an innate skill that doesn’t need to be taught.
You should be graded on the technical aspect of the project. Ideally the professor would give a grade at an interim point, not penalizing those who did their part. Those who did not contribute can fail and combine groups for the second phase. (like simulating a corporate restructuring with acquisitions)
Yeah, that’s part of what’s frustrating. There’s a big emphasis on group work, but not much guidance on how it’s actually supposed to function when people don’t pull their weight. I’m hoping the grading ends up reflecting individual effort, because otherwise it feels like the people who show up prepared just get dragged down.
ESH. This is the time in your life when you learn that you’ll be putting up with other people’s bullshit for the next 50 years or so.
Your group members showed up unprepared. That sucks. You didn’t want to carry them. That’s fair. You bailed instead of coming to a solution. That sucks.
What you should do in the future is delegate. Don’t do it as if you’re the boss (“you do this, you do that”) because then they’ll give you the responsibility of being a boss. Do it as a collaborator (“I did this, do you think you could cover that, and you can cover that, and we can meet up in a couple of days to put the pieces together?”).
Some people may warn that taking initiative will give your group “permission” to slack off. They were doing that anyway. You have to work toward solving the problem. That’s the assignment.
That’s fair. Looking back, I probably could’ve handled it better in the moment instead of just leaving. I think I was already frustrated and didn’t pause to try to redirect things into something productive. Delegating in a more collaborative way is probably the smarter move going forward, even if it’s annoying to have to be the one pushing things along.
As someone in school and has group projects for 4 different classes your NTA but eventually you will have to learn how to work with people. In my 4th year classes quitting groups isn’t an option. You eithier fail or the whole team has to agree to “fire someone”, and one failed meeting wouldn’t be enough.