AITA for leaving my friend on a random town?

So, just to give you some background, last Thursday my friend, let’s call her A, asked for my help looking for a place to do her internships. I was supposed to go with A, and one of her other friends who also needed an internship. My college is pretty far, so I spend around two hours commuting every day. It really eats into my time and energy leaving me completely drained by the time I get home. She wanted my help, so I asked her how far the town was. She mentioned it was about a 40-minute bus ride.She’s learning to do hair, and around my place, you can find a hair salon on nearly every block. So, I asked her why she felt the need to go so far for her studies. She told me she wanted to be wherever that other girl was. We spent the afternoon going around asking different salons.When we finished, we saw out the next bus to get home wasn’t coming for another hour.I was completely frustrated and worn out, but our options were limited. We ended up having to take another bus to a different town, which was about a 30 minute ride, and then hop on a train for another 20 minutes. I got home really late, and I was so drained. Afterward, A told me she wanted to do it again the next day and if I’d come along. I just told her that I was likely going to be too tired, but she wouldn’t let it go, so I said we’d see what happened. The next day, she asked me again. I told her I was worn out and my head hurt, but she just wouldn’t let it go. Finally I said yes since it meant a lot to her, and her friend was tagging along. But I had one condition: we’d go, ask what we needed, and then head straight back. She agreed. Once we were done with the salons, I told her we needed to head to the bus stop. She ignored me and stayed with her friend, so I figured they would follow, and I started to walk. When I got to the stop, I noticed they weren’t there, and then I saw the bus pulling up. I checked and realized the next one would take 40 mins. I called her and told her. She came running with her friend, and when they got there, I got on the bus. So, I got in, and just as I do, she tells me she can’t find her transport card. Ten seconds later the driver closes the doors. I had the chance to get off, but I didn’t. I went home. Obviously if she’d been by herself, I absolutely would’ve stayed, no second thoughts. But she was with her friend, and her friend’s family lives in that town, so it’s not like she was stranded or anything. It’s not the first time I’ve dealt with this kind of issue. Just last week, we agreed to catch the same bus to go see our friend (B). I figured she’d gotten on because her stop comes before mine, but she wasn’t there. When I asked what I should do, she said, really mad, “Do whatever you want.” So I still got out the bus later, she was just a 10-minute walk away and couldn’t be bothered to come to me. It feels like I’m always changing my plans, giving up my time and energy for her, I feel as if she doesn’t respect my boundaries. So AITA?

14 thoughts on “AITA for leaving my friend on a random town?”
  1. ESH, she shouldn’t have taken you with her on that long journey and then asked you to do it again, because that would be very tiring, but it was a bit rude of you to hop on the bus and leave her in the dust

  2. YTA to yourself. Once you say No, don’t let her nagging change your mind. Your time would have been better spent getting much needed rest.

  3. NTA but stop putting up with this nonsense and agreeing to these cockamamie plans that you don’t want to do.

  4. It seems as if this _friendship_ of yours is conditional on you continually acquiesing to her desires, with few, if any, reciprocal actions.

    Is she really your friend? Or are you just hers? There’s a difference, you know.

    NTA – you didn’t leave her stranded. She made her choices.

  5. NTA.

    The first day was hard. She should not have pushed you to go on the second day.

    The minute that she changed the plan on the second day (not heading straight to the bus stop), then she lost the right to complain. You’d made it very clear that you were already tired and just needed to go straight back. It was disrespectful off her to then ignore that.

    I hope this helps your feel stronger so that, when you say “no,” very firmly, your friend accepts it, without trying to manipulate your into changing your mind.

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