AITA? I (33M) live with my parents and share a room with my brother (30M).
I recently had a trip where I bought a lot of cool merch from theme parks, a piece of which was requested as a favor and paid for by a coworker, who came to my house to pick it up.
I told my family he was coming in advance and that it’d be a quick visit, as my brother is currently sick.
Wheny friend came he politely asked to see the other stuff I bought so I asked him to come upstairs, showed him my displays, exchanged a short conversation about the items and headed back down. It was less than 5 minutes all in all.
After he left my brother and my mother (59F) told me I was a disrespectful asshole for having "A stranger" invade the family space that is upstairs, they told me I was inconsiderate to my brother (Who wasn’t even in the room). I know it’s her house and her rules but I can’t help but feel they’re exaggerating quite a bit.
So, Am I the asshole?
TLDR: I quickly let a friend into our shared room to show him some stuff I bought and my family thinks I was disrespectful for it.
Edit: To clarify some things, I live in a third world country where it’s not uncommon to live with your parents until you marry. I didn’t attend the trip to just buy merch, I went to ask my GF (29F) to marry me, that was the whole point we’re both huge nerds. My brother isn’t sick with anything contagious, just has backpains and was NOT in the room.
>I (33M) live with my parents and share a room with my brother (30M).
***why?***
NTA – You should be able to have someone over. But if at all possible I’d try to find your own place ASAP. It’s very sad that at 33 you can’t even invite someone over and show them your room.
I know. I got engaged to my now fiancee during the trip I mentioned and we’re making plans to move out.
Wait. You share a bedroom with your 30-year-old brother in your parent’s home and there are rules about taking people upstairs?
This can’t be in the realm of non-fiction. If it is, you have bigger problems than a visitor going upstairs.
Different Cultures it’s not uncommon for children to live in their parents home until marriage.
YTA. When you share a room with someone, you have to get their okay before bringing someone into the actual bedroom. That’s ridiculous.
I’m not going to judge your living situation. Times are tough out there. But YTA for bringing a co-worker around your sick brother!
NTA – it’s your room as well… Congratulations!
Everybody in the comments dragging on this guy for living at home at 33, as if we don’t see every day how houses aren’t affordable for many, and rent is out of control.
YTA, but only because you didn’t get permission from the owners of the house (your mom) and the person you share the room with (your brother) even though he wasn’t in the room. That’s private living space, supposed to be a safe space, and some people, obviously your mom, don’t like strangers in their private, safe spaces. Apologize to you mom, and your brother, if need be. You didn’t mean any harm, but now you know their attitude about it, drop the topic if they’ll let you, and just don’t do it again.
BTW, congratulations!!
NTA as it seems you didn’t do this out of malice. When you are showing someone something you have a deep interest in, you can get tunnel vision. Parents are certainly over reacting, don’t let it get to you.
Your brother likely feels like he has no control over his own environment since he already has to share a room at thirty. Forcing a social interaction or a room visit on him when he’s literally trying to recover is a pretty inconsiderate move.
YTA I feel like sharing a room for as long means there’s some reestablished rules like don’t invite strangers into the shared bedroom