AITA for getting my 10 month old daughter Christmas gifts? Backstory, my wife and I had just moved 3 hours away to a small town. She works remote and I work as a cdl operator. I’m always working long hours and she is always in meetings and on business calls, so we had her mother move in, as she hasn’t worked a day in her life and wants to be close her daughter and grand daughter. My wife is the first on her side and I am the first on my side to have children. During the first few months after the birth of our daughter, my wife had her mother living with us, which has brought me a whole lot of stress and anxiety. My mother in law is the type of woman whom always has to be right about everything even though she is clearly wrong, and always sticks her nose in mine and my wife’s business, especially private and personal conversations. I am a very patient person and have been very patient with her mother ever since we got together 5 years ago, and when my work offered more hours and a higher wage in an area that’s 3 hours away, we jumped right on it. My wife and I had been wanting to get away for a long while now. When we told friends, family , etc. no one had an issue except for her mother. Mind you she sees her daughter and grand daughter everyday. My side of the family hardly ever see our daughter. She got real nasty with me and said how I was taking her daughter and grand daughter away from her and that I’m being selfish. I just let my wife handle her. Fast forward while we are still looking for a babysitter to come help watch our daughter, my wife’s mother is living with us again to help watch her. So Xmas is coming up and I work 70+ hours a week. I pay for all the bills in the house and never ask for help on anything, so when I finally had the chance to stop by a store to get gifts, I did, I got a walker, a swing and a few plushies. Side note, I have always helped her family out financially and over the past year I have given them $5k+. When I got home, I went, showered and came downstairs to eat some food. As I’m eating, my wife asks to speak privately, so I do. Apparently as I was showering, her mother had told her that we got the same gifts. I had asked my wife if she wanted me to return the duplicate gift, she said no. So we go back down and I’m in the kitchen. My mother in law comes in and goes, we have a problem, we gotten your daughter the same gifts. I said okay, that’s fine, she can have 2, 1 at your house and 1 at my house for when we visit. I also had asked if they were the exact same and gotten no response. She walked away and not even 2 minutes later, she had asked me if I could return the gifts I got my daughter. At the moment I got heated and said, no, I’m not returning gifts I got my daughter on her first Xmas . She got upset and said she was gonna return her then because she wanted to be the one to give her a walker for Xmas, I then shouted, why are you making this about you and not about her, AITA for not returning the gifts?
Your kid, your rules lol. NTA.
Who cares what she gets her? You just make sure you and your wife use the stuff you bought.
Your mil is so contrary, she would probably go back and change the presents to better and nicer ones.
NTA.
NTA
You’re the Dad. Dad trumps Grandma. And it’s about your little girl.
Yep. And the kid won’t know and certainly won’t remember. It’s more about establishing boundaries of your MIL’s influence.
No offense, but if this is the worst problem you have going on I wish I were in your shoes.
Never said it was the worst issue, just wanted to know if I was an asshole
NTA – as a grandmom I don’t have the right to first anything with my grandkids.
NTA. You’re the dad, not a guest. Grandma’s acting like a jealous baby who didn’t get to blow out the candles first.
And maybe stop working yourself into the ground, 70+ hour a week is insane.
He is a CDL operator; 70 hour weeks are very common.
It’s a good thing you’re moving. NTA.
NTA. Grandma is appreciated for helping and loving her granddaughter but she shouldn’t overstep the parents. Good thing you’re moving away.