My(19) tutor taught me English from the age of 12 to 17. She’s the reason I managed to pass the English part of my university entrance exam. We still keep in touch.
Last week, her son(16)’s leg was badly injured in an accident. Yesterday, she asked me if I could visit him with some dinner since she couldn’t cancel classes. I bought pork fried rice with a banana as a snack and iced latte. The guy often told me coffee actually makes him sleepy and that he prefers drinking it later in the day.
He ate the entire banana and drank the coffee but only had a little bit of the fried rice. He said he’s too worried about his future footballing prospects to eat more(he’s currently a striker for his school’s team). I tried to tell him that he will be fine and eating more could help him recover sooner but he snapped at me. Told me I’m ‘a bookworm like [his] mom’ and ‘couldn’t understand’ what this sort of accident means to an athlete.
So I didn’t press the issue. His mom called me and we talked. She was upset I didn’t get him to eat more, saying that I’ve always been a bit of an older brother figure to him and he would have listened if I insisted.
I’d say letting him eat too little is a bad phrasing. I’d prefer ‘AITA for not forcing my tutor’s son eat more?’ And OFC you can’t force anyone to eat and it’s misplaced to blame you – she’s probably worried sick and not able to handle that very well and lashed out on you because of that.
NTA. Sounds like the kid might have an eating disorder. That’s a personal thing for him, his family, and doctors to solve, not some kid his mother tutored for a few years.
I’m not sure that him not eating because he is upset/stressed means he has an eating disorder. I agree OP is NTA because the son is not theirs and therefore not their responsibility to deal with their stress. But saying the kid might have an eating disorder just because they didn’t want to eat more is a bit of a strech.
You’re reaching way too far here. He’s upset about how his serious injury could hurt his sports. Eating light at one meal when he’s upset doesn’t equal an eating disorder.
NTA, not sure why the tutor expected you to read their minds for dietary instructions when she could’ve given them to you since the start
NTA, not your job at all. They sound unbearable
NTA, he’s not a child, don’t patients get meals provided in hospital where you live?
You did a nice thing, she should be grateful.
She asked you to bring him food which you did and you did try to get him to eat but he wasn’t having it.
You did everything right and did your best. Hes in hospital in pain, pain meds Allan also make you feel nauseous.
Obviously his not wanting to eat and his reasons for not wanting to eat are concerning. But you did the best you could.
If his mum is concerned about him not eating you pressuring him to eat isn’t going to help. That’s something she needs to discuss with him and probably the hospital team.
NTA it’s not your job to feed him, it’s hers and you were doing her a favor which she didn’t appreciate.
Nah you’re not the villain here. Dude is stressed, injured, and clearly in his feelings. You brought food, tried to hype him up, and he snapped anyway. You can’t force feed a 16 year old striker having a mini identity crisis. His mom is just overwhelmed. You did your part.
NTA. He’s old enough to make his own decision on that. It’s not your job to push him to eat and it’s not like you had any power over him to get him to any more anyway.
There’s not much you can do. He’s stressed and lashing out. You did your best, and were there for him keeping him company. That’s a big deal during a hospital stay, it can be really lonely and miserable. Unless your friend/tutor expected you to hold the guy down and force food down his throat you did everything you could. I’m guessing the parent is just worried and disappointed that you couldn’t do more (and hopefully not blaming you for it, because that wouldn’t be fair to you!)
NTA.
NTA
You can’t force a person to eat.
You said to him that eating would help healing.
NTA. You can’t force feed him