I (28M) am a huge tech and music nerd. Three years ago, I finally saved up enough to buy a limited edition, vintage-style synthesizer. It cost me $2,500, and it’s essentially the centerpiece of my home studio. I’m incredibly protective of it; I don’t even let my friends touch it without me in the room.
My brother, "Leo" (22M), recently graduated and has been staying with me for a few weeks while he looks for an apartment. I gave him one rule: don’t touch the studio equipment.
Last weekend, I went away for a hiking trip. While I was gone, Leo decided to throw a small "get-together." Apparently, he wanted to show off and told his friends he "knew how to produce." He set up my synth in the living room to play some music.
At some point, someone knocked a drink over. The liquid fried the internal circuitry, and in the panic of trying to move it, Leo dropped the unit, cracking the wooden side panels and snapping off two of the custom knobs.
When I got home, the synth was back in the studio, but it wouldn’t power on. I saw the physical damage immediately. When I lost it, Leo admitted what happened but said, "It’s just a keyboard, man. I’ll buy you a cheap MIDI controller to replace it."
I took it to a specialist. To source the vintage parts and repair the water damage, the quote is $1,200.
I told Leo he has to pay the full repair bill. He freaked out, saying he’s a "broke grad student" and that I’m "financially stable" enough to just eat the cost. He thinks I’m being an elitist because I won’t accept a $100 replacement from Amazon.
Now, our parents are involved. My dad told me that "holding a debt over your brother’s head" is going to ruin our relationship and that I should just "be the bigger person" since I’m the one with the career. My mom said it’s "just a hobby" and I’m valuing "plastic and wires" over my own blood.
Leo is currently giving me the silent treatment and told our cousins I’m "extorting" him.
AITA for demanding my brother pay $1,200 for a repair, or should I just let it go because he’s family?
NTA You told your brother how valuable and important this synthesizer is to you. A cheap “replacement” is not a replacement at all. He’s 22 and should be able to take responsibility for his actions. Given he’s your brother, I’d suggest allowing him to repay you installments or something of the like, but I 100% think he owes it to you
Tell him because he is family, he hasn’t been tossed out. He has to repair what is broken to as close to the condition you left it in. Furthermore, since he is family, you will let him repay you back at the rate of 100 dollars a month. Starting March. He is an adult. Adults are expected to repair their mistakes. If he doesn’t want to fix the wrong he did to his brother, his family, he can go now. You will consider the family bond broken, since he valued not repaying his debt. If your parents want to help their younger son, they can pay the bill. But that isn’t helping him become a responsible adult which is what everyone should hope is the outcome of this situation.
Perfect response
You only needed to write the first sentence to know you are not the asshole
Nope. He didn’t have your permission in the first place It will teach him a lesson about boundaries…a very expensive lesson.
NTA. He used something quite expensive of yours knowing you don’t want him to and the ruined it. He needs to pay to fix it.
NTA. Not only did he use something that belonged to you without asking. He broke it I would tell him that he is going to either pay to fix it or get out of my house. It he was not family I would make him pay and get out of my home
NTA. Take him to small claims court and let the judge decide how much he must pay you. Parade the judgement in front of your parents as “This is what an impartial third party believes is just.”
Meanwhile, don’t you think he’s worn out his welcome?
NTA. You warned him, and he tried to show off and destroyed your vintage stuff.
Brother ruined the relationship by having a party and destroying the equipment. Nta
NTA.
Since mom and dad are so determined to protect your brother from responsibility they can cover the repair costs on his behalf.
“You know, you’re going to ruin your relationship with your brother if you make him pay you back, don’t you?”
“If you care about our relationship, you should tell him he ruined it before I had a chance to do it, Dad.”
Does your brother own a laptop? If you spilled a drink and slammed it against a table, would a $100 tablet be a suitable replacement? No, no it would not. It would likely *do* everything he needs it too, but it’s not the same. It doesn’t have the same features, it doesn’t allow you to do the same things.
Also amusing how it is important and valuable to show off to friends, but not to replace or repair. NTA
NTA. You specifically told him NO and he used it anyhow. He is not a 3 year old, he knows better. To help him remember in the future,
1. Put him on a $100 per month payment until it is paid, and
2. refuse to let him in your apartment – or put your equipment in a room with a deadbolt door.