I recently started working at a decently reputable company in my country. Naturally, some friends and family are asking me for referrals, which in general I’m happy to give out as its mostly been pretty promising people who requested them.
However, I know one guy who really didn’t work that hard during uni, doesn’t show work ethic from my experience doing projects and internships with him, barely graduated, and also doesn’t excell in the technical skills required for jobs in our industry. I also don’t vibe that well with his personality so we aren’t super close. I’ve been working for 18 months and in that time he hasn’t landed a job yet so I also have no track record of whether he has changed and matured. He has also been asking me for a referral. As it was on a quick text message, I just told him to send his details over so that I can put it in my portal.
However, as I was worried about the implications of referring a poor candidate, I did some research and read on a few places online that actually "bad" referrals could reflect poorly on my credibility and reputation professionally. With how I know him as, I’m almost certain he’s not a good fit for this job, this company, and this environment. So in a panic, I decided not to input him as a referral.
He’s now applied for the job thinking I referred him. I never said that I did, I just asked for his details so I think he would logically assume I’ve done my part. If his resume is somehow really good (again, I know he hasn’t been working in 1.5 years) and he’s improved a lot from when we crossed paths in uni, then he can still land the interviews and maybe the job. I just didn’t want to risk HR getting some kind of negative reflection of me. However, if his application was really close to getting considered and a referral could have boosted his chances, that could mean I actually took that away from him.
In any case am I the asshole?
I knew u didnt put the referral in! thanks for nothing!!!!
🤣🤣
Why did you lie? Why didn’t you straight up say you wouldn’t refer him? You were being an asshole leading him on saying you would. And doubly so for lying about it.
Yup, YTA
NTA
I NEVER, EVER refer friends and family for jobs in my place of employment. Previous co-workers, yes. Why? Because if they flake or bomb, then it is a direct reflection on me. The only time I have waived this was so my son could get an internship with my company. He was hired on as a contractor, while he is finishing school.
ok but he implied he referred him and didn’t? He’s TA because he lied
Sure, I understand that position.
But then OP should have said so in the beginning or notified the other person when he changed his mind instead of leading him on
YTA. You should have done the research before you lead him into thinking you referred him. He’s likely going have to deal with some awkward circumstances because of you flaking on him.
I’m a little confused — you’re saying you never said you gave him a referral, but you’re also saying you wanted him to think you did?
If he asked for a referral and you then asked for his details, he has no reason to think you didn’t give him a referral. But it’s not clear what you wanted him to believe.
I know you were in a difficult position. But it’s not fair to lead him to believe you backed him when you didn’t. He has a right to submit his application knowing where he stands. For example, if he uses your name and they tell him you never mentioned him, that puts him in a very awkward position and makes him look either dishonest or inexplicably confused.
So as hard as it might be to tell someone you don’t feel you can recommend them, it’s worse to let them think you did when you didn’t.
He might name drop you at the interview so he’ll potentially find out then.
I wouldn’t have referenced him either for your very valid reasons but I would’ve just lied if it’s awkward and said I’m not high up enough in the food chain yet for referrals 🤷♀️
Looks like slop, who would need to do “research” to know that bad referrals reflect poorly on your credibility lol
YTA
This could have been solved by just responding polity that you would prefer not to do a referral, not leading him on like you did.
If you were actually curious about if he has improved or changed at all, why not offer to meet for a coffee to catch up?
YTA just say no