Am I the jerk because I didn’t want my friend telling people I am gay?
Am I jerk because I didn’t want my friend telling people im gay I go to an all boys high school at the beginning of the year I told some people I am gay and then they started telling people I was gay and at the end of the day I would get crowd at the bus lines by people asking me if I was gay and bullying me so after a while of this happening I just started telling them I was straight so they would leave me alone, but all my friends still knew I was gay. But one of my friends that I will call caleb started telling one person like every week to a month I was gay at first i was a little annoyed but didn’t tell him to stop, then I was in art class with him and another one of our friends one day and we were talking about something and the word that I am gay is talked about then a popular boy listening from behind us was like wait your gay then both of my friends kept on say yes and I was saying no because I didn’t want to get bullied again so I told both my friends to stop and one of my friends stopped but Caleb kept saying I am until the popular boy said if he was bulling me and I said yes then Caleb finally stop talking then later me and my friend were waiting for the bell to go so we sat next Caleb and he was mad at me because I told the boy that he was bullying me and he said he can tell anyone he wants that I am gay. Then through the last couple weeks he kept insulting me when I would talk to anyone then before school holiday for term 3 I went on a holiday for the whole school holiday and some of term 4 but while I was holiday me and Caleb were talking and he said can we be friends again (I didn’t even know we weren’t friends anymore) I said yes and I thought our friendship would go back to normal so I go back to school and Caleb is still insulting me, at that time I found out I would be put into the top classes for next year and then I go to one of my clubs I do instead of sport (because I can’t be yelled at because I suck at it) I’m waiting in the line awaiting for the teacher to come when I see Caleb and jake (jake dosent like me) jake said don’t worry he’s dumb I was standing right behind them when jake said that I was like oh ok then finally we’re let inside and Caleb and the friend in my friend group every likes says their dating and I’m fine with, and through the school holiday I’ve wondering what to do because Caleb dosent like me but I don’t know what to do I would befriend other people but I uave really bad anxiety over think stuff too much like talking to new people or befriending people and I’m extremely shy what should I do school starts in two days.
NTA. Caleb is not your friend. He is actively bullying you and outing you against your will. That’s a serious betrayal. Your safety and comfort come first
NTA. Divulging your sexuality has very real risk of harm, both physical and otherwise. It is nobody else’s right to share that information.
But also as long as you’re in school, please spend some time learning about punctuation and paragraph breaks. This is a very difficult read.
Oops, Im sorry I forgot about the paragraph breaks
NTA It is your choice if you want to tell someone that you’re gay (or anything personal for that matter) and if Caleb was telling people that you clearly didn’t want knowing. He was disrespecting your decision and overstepping your boundaries already, but then disrespected you by insulting you. You were right to say he was bullying you because he is. You need to cut Caleb out of your life and even though you may struggle to make better friends it would still be better to be alone than to even be acquainted with someone like Caleb.
NTA, Caleb is not your friend and you should come to terms with that. It doesn’t sound like he appreciates your friendship and simply wanted a bit of attention with being friends with the gay guy.
While you cannot really stop him running his mouth, you can stop being friends with someone who doesn’t respect you enough to not talk about your personal matters to anyone and everyone that has ears.
Do yourself a favor and stop calling this person your friend.
Side note, your writing is rather messy.
Also, I am sorry that you’re going through bullying. Sometimes it’s because people feel insecure about their own sexuality that they overreact and lash out. Hope you do have some good friends or trusted adult with whom you can talk about this.
If you’re being bullied, you need to bring this to the attention of your parents and principal
I would but I haven’t told my parents I am gay and I feel uncomfortable telling my teachers and principal because I don’t want them to change their opinions of me just because im gay
This is 2026. Your sexual preferences don’t stop you from being a citizen with the same rights as everyone else. Perhaps it’s time for them to learn and accept who you are. Yes, it’s scary. I understand. Start as you wish to continue. That means being honest. Place some trust in your parents.
Please believe me when I say that THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY. I remember my son being so frightened to have this conversation with me. He was almost trembling. Guess what? Neither my husband or myself could give two hoots because that’s our child and we adore everything about them, even if it’s not what we were expecting. With adoption and surrogacy, I can’t even be worried about not having grandchildren one day.
You dont need to tell them everything. You are beeing bullied and this has to stop. No matter what reason this “friends” find to use against you – you are in your right to get help
I’m sorry if you find my writing messy and the punctuation bad I didn’t have much time to check it again.
NTA. Your sexuality is information only you can disclose whenever and to whomever you want. This Caleb doesn’t have the right to dictate when that information is shared. To be completely honest, he sounds like one terrible friend.
NTA, the only one who has the right to tell people is you, no one has the right to make you come out when not ready. Kids especially can be cruel as they lack the maturity to understand the complexity of your situation and that world is not white and black. Some teens wants to feel powerful, like they are better and right and so they degrade those, whose weakness they see (in this case your lack of security in your indetity as any young man/woman would – most were struggling with finding themselves at your age). Your ‘friends’ are AH and not friends at all, drop them and I know it is hard (I had similar problem) but it is needed for you and your well-being.