She literally told me she doesn’t want to celebrate it on Jan 1st at all. It feels like I am being punished for actually listening to what she said
My wife’s birthday is January 1st. Tbh it is a bad time for a birthday. Since it is so close to holidays her friend usually don’t get her birthday gifts. Becuase it is the first day of the year no one wants to do anything since they are all hungover form the night before. In short she doesn’t like it being that day
We talked this year of celebrating her half birthday as he big event instead of Jan 1st. She is the one that brought up the idea and I agreed to it.
So her birthday celebration is going to be June 2. So when Jan 1st came around I didn’t do anything. I wished her happy birthday and that was it. No cake, no present, nothing that like.
It thought the day went well but she didn’t. We got into an argument becuase I didn’t do anything for her birthday. I pointed out multiple time that she wanted to celebrate it June 2.
She told me that’s not the point and I should have done something. I asked if she didn’t want to celebrate on June 2 nd and she told me she still did.
She basically wants to birthdays from me. This has been an ongoing argument and today I told her she is acting more spoiled than our three year old. That our own daughter doesn’t get too birthdays so whey should she
She isn’t talking to me, and I need to know if I am acutely in the wrong on this…
Should she get two birthdays
YTA If you’re going to do a half birthday thing it’s probably better to celebrate the immediate birthday, THEN do a half birthday going forward. Waiting 18 months to be celebrated would hurt. Being told that I was acting spoiled for feeling hurt would put me off of the relationship for awhile.
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? She’s probably gone her whole life not feeling celebrated and you’re the one person who she should be able to count on to do it
YTA. She’s not asking for two birthday Celebrations. You could’ve bought her something small (flowers chocolate etc) and then saved an actual gift for the celebration. She already hates her birthday because her friends ignore it and now you did too.
YTA. It wouldn’t have cost much to get a small gift or cake. You dont have to do a big celebration but only saying happy birthday is sad
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My birthday is Jan 2. I didn’t pick that day any more than your wife did. We grow up getting ignored on that day, being told it won’t be celebrated because people are “celebrated out”, no one has money for gifts, etc.
YTA for making her even think about needing a “half birthday”. Just celebrate the day she was born.
yta. couldve gotten her something small. you are saying your wife never gets gifts because the day is overlooked, if you know that, why dont you give her something? or make her a nice dinner of her favorite meal? or even a nice heartfelt handwritten card, that can even include your daughter she can draw a picture on the front. you kinda screwed up man id fix that before your wife starts questioning your relationship.
YTA
The party, presents, and friends is June 2, but it wouldn’t kill you to bake a cake and make supper (or even do a takeout and grocery store cake) for her actual birthday
YTA. Flowers, cake, card professing your undying love for her.
Party with friends and family in June.
She’s allowed to act a little bit childish because she was cursed with a 1/1 bday which means it has never been properly celebrated in her entire life. Indulge her.
YTA x2 for calling both your daughter and wife spoiled. That is some shitty gender-biased language and you need to check yourself.
YTA. It is very common to do the “birthday basics” on your actual birthday with your family, even if you are having the big celebration (party, dinner etc) on another day.
A card, breakfast in bed, small cake or something sweet and a gift definitely is expected.
YTA getting her a cupcake and flowers isn’t much effort. Everyone wants to feel special and loved on the 1 days it’s all about them. I understand why she wanted to celebrate her half birthday because of her friends but you should’ve done something small. It doesn’t seem like she wants 2 celebrations. It seems more like she wants to be acknowledged and thought of on her actual birthday and then the big celebration on her half birthday. You didn’t even need to get her a present, just something to show her you care.
YTA. How hard would it have been to grab a card, flowers, and cook her favorite dinner? Honestly, my partner does more than that for me on days that aren’t my birthday… js 🤷🏻♀️
Also, if your birthday falls on a work day, do you not do a little dinner or something on the actual day and then actually celebrate with friends and family over the weekend? I feel like celebrating on more than one day is actually a pretty common occurrence because 5/7 days of the week are work days for most people.
YTA. She’s not asking for two birthdays. And if doing any minor thing more than saying “happy birthday” feels like too much bother and reaches full-blown birthday celebration status to you, that might be the crux of the problem right there.
Think about it – your poor wife has probably never, ever had a birthday party that included all the people she wants. She also realizes that’s not likely to ever happen on Jan. 1, so party time needs to shift if she’s going to get that. Done. But, her birthday is still her birthday.
Of course she really wants to really be seen by you, her #1 person, on her actual birthday. Maybe a little cake or a handmade present from your daughter that you orchestrate. Then, a more elaborate something on her half birthday to include a wider audience.
YTA- In my book, a celebration is seperate from an acknowledgement. My birthday is on a holiday. We never celebrate on the holiday and usually celebrate a week or two after.
But on my birthday my husband acknowleds my birthday by getting me a card, some flowers and we share an oversized cupcake or similar small sweet from our local bakery.
A week or two after, we celebrate with my friends by going out and, if he gets me a gift that year (we dont do birthday presents but sometimes he may have an idea and decide to get something) it’s usually given to me on the day I decided to celebrate.
It would have been a NAH if you just took the feedback and adjusted. “Im sorry honey, I thought you meant we don’t really do anything on your real birthday and just wait until June. Now I know that you still want something small on the actual day.”
YTA. You’re her husband. Wouldn’t kill you to celebrate her twice? She clearly meant a public celebration later in the year, doesn’t mean you can’t say happy birthday on her ACTUAL BIRTHDAY and get her a gift. Yikes. Could you be more thoughtless. Your poor wife.