My daughter is 2 and we always had her call my MIL "Nana". It was the only because she couldnt pronounce "grandma" when she was first learning to talk and I didn’t really think of any other name. My SIL told me when my daughter was little that her children call her own mom "Mimi" and she didn’t want them to get confused. So we chose "nana". A while ago my BIL and SIL had to go no contact with my BIL’s biological mom. Their 5 year old son used to call her "nana" as well. My SIL has been pressuring me since to have my daughter refer to my MIL only as "grandma" from now on because she doesn’t want him to get confused or sad if it ends up having to be explained that he can’t go and see his nana because they are now no contact. I hope this is making sense. I try to refer to my MIL as grandma in front of the kids, but my daughter is only 2. Honestly, its really cute how she says nana and its a special title that we’ve adopted for my MIL that now feels hard to separate with. So other than the fact that she’s 2 and probably wouldn’t make the switch to "grandma" so easily, I am reluctant to change it for her because it’s special for her. That’s HER nana. I understand the heart ache that my BIL and SIL have had to go through with going no contact, but i don’t feel it’s fair to make us comply with this. My BIL has never expressed this concern my my husband (they are step brothers)
AITA?
NTA. i understand it’s difficult for them but they can’t constantly demand what your child calls her grandmother. you’re not doing anything wrong.
NAH
I get where your sister’s coming from, but it’s not your 2-year-old’s job to fix it. She has her own nana. Any 5-year-old should be able to grasp the difference between “my nana” and “your nana.”
Nta your SIL needs to get a grip on reality.
NTA. Your daughter has already established that Nana is her grandmother.
Your nephew won’t get confused. He’s 5 and old enough to understand. Tell SIL it prepares him for knowing different people with the same name at school.
He can call your MIL what he likes and your daughter can call her Nana. Kids are smart and flexible.
NTA, kids come up with all sorts of nicknames for the people they love, it is not your or your child’s responsibility to change a name/title to make other people more comfortable
MIL and your daughter are the ones who get to decide, not the other adults. Period. NTA. My kid called my mom Mungah for a while, NO clue why. He stopped around 3yo. Let your MIL enjoy her granddaughter.
I’m sorry, I’m really confused as to why others get a vote, and why there is so much pressure on a 2 year old who will end up calling her grandmother whatever name she ends up falling into.
Let the child call her Nana. SIL can get over it, or not. Her choice, but there’s no reason to pressure a 2 yo.
And please, learn how to not be so people-pleasing. You don’t need to worry about what others think about things that don’t impact them. If it comes up again, tell SIL if she has this much time to worry about such things, there are lots of great organizations who would love to have her volunteer services. She can go feed the hungry or plant community gardens or something.
edit to add NTA.
NTA – your SIL is understandably concerned that this will bring up sad feelings for her son, but sad feelings are not bad feelings. She needs to spend the time with her son to talk through these feelings. And her son will eventually learn that many people have different names when they are with different groups of people.
The only person who should weigh in on this with you is your MIL. What does she want your daughter to call her? (As long as it’s not Mama you are good!)
What your child calls their grandma is personal. At two years old, her grandma is “Nana”. It is confusing and unfair for SIL to expect her to change suddenly. I would think her own five year old is old enough to understand that more than one person could be called “Nana” and that is a conversation for her to have with her own child
NTA, SIL seems to want you to police your child instead of speaking to her own. Your daughter gets to decide what she calls her people. Not you, not your husband, and certainly not your SIL.
NTA
Their nana and your nana aren’t the only two nanas in the world, she needs to stop overreacting.
NTA is her child confused when she hears your daughter call you mom?
Will nephew get confused on who his mom is too when he hears your daughter calling you mom? SIL needs to get a grip. NTA
NTA SIL needs to be reminded that your child is not the only one to use the word Nana, but if she insists then her kid has got to stop calling SIL Mom, because your daughter might get confused.