Hello! Earlier today, I got into an argument with my cousin because she thought it would be a bad idea for my husband (27) and I (28) to get a dog. I casually mentioned to her that in the next few months we’re planning on rescuing a dog. We’re unsure of the breed yet, but one of my friends helps run a Shetland sheepdog rescue so we are leaning towards a sheltie.
She is saying this is a bad idea for three main reasons: 1- The size of our home, 2- “How no one will be home for the work week”, and 3- Her fear that our cat, 4 years old, will be in danger and too fearful towards the dog. I respect her worries, but I think she is really inflating these worries out of proportion.
\#1, We live in a 1,000 square foot Townhome. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a fenced in yard, but I obviously understand that dogs need exercise and 3 walks daily. We have a nice walking path around our neighborhood and a never used fenced in dog play area only 400 feet away from us.
\#2, Although my partner works a traditional 9 to 5 out of the house, I am hybrid, and I only go into the office Tuesdays and Thursdays. Plus, my mother said she would be watching my dog on Thursdays, so the dog would only be home alone for one day a week.
\#3 Is tricky. Our cat only met a dog once, and it was with six other people as well. She hid for the entire time so we couldn’t really get a gauge on how she would react with just the dog alone. Obviously, when I search for dogs online, I always make sure they have “cat friendly” experience. I’m sure our cat will have a hard time at the beginning, but I really hope that both my cat and dog will get along in the end.
I’d love to get anyone’s opinion on this. She made it sound like I was being a selfish jerk for wanting to introduce a dog in this home. I’ve done my research for about three years and I’ve always been a dog person. I’m definitely not going in this blind.
Thanks!
Might want to see if someone is willing to let your cat around their dog. Very important to see if she would tolerate it beforehand. Also, is that a working breed out of curiosity? A high energy breed might not be the best dog to start with.
Yep! Shelties are a pretty smart breed and big on herding and obedience. They are pretty high energy, but that’s what I’m looking for. The past few years, I’m getting big on working out, and having a walking buddy would be amazing 🙂
Although this would be my first dog under my name, it’s definitely not the first dog in my life. I grew up around high energy dogs and I also have done pet sitting for a year. Now that my family dogs have passed away, I have been pretty “dog deprived” (lol) and now I’m looking for a dog of my own!
Shelties are nearly as high in energy as border collies. They’re more like a greyhound… they can get a little energy out, and then snuggle on the couch the rest of the time.
People who think it’s irresponsible to get a dog without a fenced yard or a huge house are delusional. You need to exercise your dog, which you do.. on a leashed walk. Dogs spend most of the time sleeping in the house. They sleep like 15 hours a day. Then they get appropriate levels of exercise and enrichment for their temperament and breed. This also calls bullshit on the notion that people who work outside the home can’t be responsible dog owners. Nobody thought that bullshit before WFH became super common in covid. You can’t get a young puppy and be gone 9 hours a day, but you can rescue a house-trained dog that’s capable of holding its bladder for a full day. Or hire a midday dog walker.
The question is whether you a) are meeting the needs of the dog, b) are also still meeting the needs of your cat. Working with a local rescue and being honest and realistic about the conditions of your home will ensure you find a good match and can help a dog in need of a home thrive in your family.
Cousin is either the AH or an idiot.
I saw an article once that said dogs with fenced in yards tend to get less exercise than dogs who get taken for leashed walks. Walking around the same yard for 5 minutes a few times a day doesn’t make for great exercise or mental stimulation. They generally sniff around for a minute, then go sit down somewhere.
These don’t really seem like dealbreakers at all. That’s a plenty big house. It’s not true that no one will be home for the workweek. There’s no way of knowing how your specific cat will get along with your specific dog but plenty of people have a dog and cat. NTA.
Does your cousin pay your bills? Your mortgage? Do they contribute to your household in any way? If ANY of those answers are No, they can butt out. NTA
NTA. Lots of people have put a lot less thought into pet ownership and do just fine. Will it be a bummer to not be able to just open a door and let the dog out? Yeah – it will. Because no matter the weather, it’s on you to take them out.
I brought a young mutt-small terrier (think Jack Russel) dog into my household with two cats. What I knew was that he’d been exposed to cats at his rescue, and had shown no aggression toward them, though would be a high energy dog with a strong prey drive – which meant work for me. I didn’t have a fenced yard when I first got him – and we established a walking routine that happened 7 days a week. It’s a big time commitment – our walks were between 1-2 hours of my day, and that time doesn’t include the extra dressing consideration needed in the winter. I took a week off work when I got him, and he stayed on leash the first 2-3 days. I used the “time out” method when he would want to chase (Jean Donaldson’s books are sooo useful).
Okay, so I did read the whole thing, but this alone was all the answer I needed.
>I got into an argument with my cousin because she thought it would be a bad idea for my husband (27) and I (28) to get a dog
Why in the hell does your cousin think her opinion matters here? NTA.
That being said, I recently got a puppy myself and did a ton of research. Personally, I would agree that a sheepdog in particular sounds like a terrible match for what you describe, but nothing about your home/life is prohibitive to a dog in general.
What breeds would you think would work for us if it’s a no-go on shelties?
I would start with non-working breeds. So, avoiding shepherds, huskies, any dogs bred for herding, etc. Herding dogs are both bred for endurance and smart/independent as hell. They can also have pretty intense prey drives, which can be tough with a cat.
Especially if you’ve never owned a dog as an adult before, it’s never a bad idea to start with beginner friendly dogs. Think labs, goldens, poodles (not doodles), or anything lower energy. If you like smaller, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Bichon Frise, and Shi Tzus are also on the easier side.
In my experience, even most low energy dogs will still have way more energy than you’d expect the first few years. When I started my search, I was 100% committed to rescuing, so I knew there was no purebred guarantee, so my strategy was less “try to get this breed” and more “avoid these breeds.”
All that being said, no dog will ever be always perfect. Especially if your friend runs the rescue, why not ask if you could foster for a bit? Give it a few weeks and see how it goes. Especially if it’s an older dog with some solid training behind it, even high energy breeds can be easier than expected.
I wouldn’t rule in or out most particular breeds. Join the FB pages and peruse the websites of all the local dog rescue groups in your area. (There are probably several and many of them bring dogs up north from the South). Apply with the various rescue groups and watch who they get in and have available for adoption.
A lot of rescues will ‘cat test’ dogs they get in, and also many of them will have some dogs who live with cats in a foster home. So they’ll be able to tell you about who might work best.
Not an expert, but had a sheltie growing up. They’re working dogs – not border collie level – but need exercise (sounds like you’re good there) and some mental stimulation (lots of activities and toys for this).
They have a high herding drive – *not* a high prey drive. Your cat should be fine once they’ve sort of figured each other out.
Just my two cents – I’m sure the rest of the comments are more helpful.
NTA.
ETA agility training is great
I grew up with shelties. They were always around cats and they didn’t try to herd them or chase them. No matter what kind of a pet you get, one MUST give the animal training and attention and exercise. If an owner can commit, they can make it work.