So my friend lives in a different state than me and all our other friends. We have all known each other since elementary school. Anyways my friend only comes back once a year so we all planned to have poker night and go to a casino. We had this planned for months. So my friend returns home and two days before the trip, he cancels it. When I asked him why, he said that “he never said he would go”. However, I had it in text of him saying he would. So I sent him a picture of the text and he replied with “I didn’t say that” even though there is concrete proof that he did. After that, I called him a pathological liar. A few weeks went by and I reached out to him again and he told me he won’t speak to me again unless I apologize. I feel like I shouldn’t apologize for him lying to me and my other friend.
he literally tried to gaslight you about a text you were both looking at and now he’s playing the victim because he got called out on it
This he immediately goes full shaggy
I’m sorry for the name calling, I shouldn’t have called you a pathological liar. However, I was hurt because I have the texts of you agreeing to the trip, and it felt like you were gaslighting me about a plan we’d made months ago.
I’m sorry you were upset when I provided evidence of you lying
NTA but I think your friendship has come to an end
This here! I think friendships naturally have expiration dates. Only true bonds will endure lifetimes. I’m 41M and have had many circles of friends and many close friendships, most come to an end one way or another. We mature and grow at different rates and in different directions, drifting apart is nearly inevitable. Also it’s like dating a girl, first while is the exploration stage, excitement in getting to know each other, find each others humor refreshing and unique, but after a certain while you start to get sick of each others crap. Maybe this isn’t a sign that that you need to terminate this friendship right now but If your friend refuses to acknowledge fault when you have irrefutable evidence then its an early sign of this friendships demise. A friendship is just not sustainable with such a person, at least not in the long run and that’s totally fine imo, it’s like cleaning out the closet, out with the old and in with the new. We grow from friendships, recycling is good for your growth. Keep the few that you have very close and strong bonds but make room for new people to come into your life to shape you. However be extremely careful about who those people are. You’d be surprised just how much one wrong person can send your life’s trajectory down the gutter, speaking from experience. Best of luck!
NTA. Calling him a pathological liar is a bit harsh, unless he does this all the time, but its valid that you were annoyed about his dishonesty and bailing on a pre-made plan to go out. Fwiw, I would only apologise if he first apologises for lying to you. He could have just said he didn’t feel like going on this night out anymore; he didn’t have to lie.
Also, maybe ask yourself if he’s really your friend anymore. If he doesn’t want to hang out with you and is willing to tell bare-faced lies to justify this, maybe the answer is ‘no’. A friend is what a friend does, and it’s not uncommon for people to drift apart as they grow up, move away etc.
NTA, but do you really want someone like this in your life? As the saying goes, when someone tells you who they are, listen.
Why the fuck are you posting here?
Are you trying to be friends with the liar?
Honestly these kinds of posts are why people mock this sub.