So a couple months ago I was talking to this girl in my friend group I thought we had a connection she would always buy me drinks and food every week. So recently I decided to ask her out and she said yes I was very excited I bought flowers and made plans as this nice restaurant. But when the day came I texted her she cancels last minute saying that work called her in. Now I understand that things happen but what I don’t understand is why she never even tried to reschedule. It made me feel like the only reason she said yes was because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. After that I stopped approaching her and starting conversations it seemed to upset her because she asked if I was upset with her and I was but I couldn’t tell her because when she asked she was very drunk. Also I found something that really upset me. Like 2 weeks before I asked her out I dropped her home one night and I asked her if I could come inside her apartment and use the bathroom( I didn’t really have to pee) and she said yes. Now I wasn’t expecting nothing to happen and nothing did all we ended up doing was talking for like 2 hours. Now what upset me is that she told our mutual friends that the only reason she let me in was because she felt sorry for me. (I found out about this after the failed date) this really pissed me off so I avoid speaking to her she saw me on new years and grabbed both my arms and tried speak to but I just wasn’t interested in her excuses and she noticed I wasn’t in the mood and just wished me a happy new year and I walked away. Recently I told her the reason why I stopped talking to her I explained that after the failed date and what she said I just figured it best we no longer speak. She defended herself saying that she couldn’t help the work emergency and that she isn’t comfortable with people in her apartment. (but she let it slip that she had her guy friend is staying over that night the irony right)
Last week a friend told me I was the a hole for not asking her out again because if she didn’t care she would have never asked if I was upset in the first place. But I feel like she was trying to tell me she wasn’t interested and only see me as a friend. Like she didn’t even ask if I was mad until I turned her down when she and her friend ask me to buy them us shots and I just walked away. (We usually take turns buying each other shots)
So Reddit am I the asshole?
Edit: forgot to put this but she knew I liked her. One night her best friend let it slip even our mutals friends knew because they where all talking about it one night.